Why A Man Gets Scared Away

I'd like to ask you a few questions. Be open and honest with yourself as you answer them...


Have you ever met a guy who seemed to be "Mr. Right", but after getting to know him better you could tell that he just didn't feel that same level of "connection" you felt? You were attracted to him, but he just wasn't into you the same way you were into him? In your mind, you could sense what a great guy he was, and that, somewhere deep inside, you both shared this strong "chemistry" that made you feel close and comfortable. But for some reason he didn't want to truly connect with you.


Another one...Have you ever slept with a guy very quickly after meeting him, but as it started to happen you got that sinking feeling in your stomach? You knew it was a mistake, but you did it anyway. And then the thing you KNEW would happen actually happened: He unexplainably disappeared from your life. Honestly, have you ever had this happen? Of course, the worst part wasn't that it happened, but that you KNEW you shouldn't have done it in the first place... but you did it anyway.


And finally: Have you ever dated a great guy for a long time... I'm talking about six months, twelve months, or even longer... and it was getting to the point where you needed to have "the talk" with him. But when you tried to bring up the topic of having a relationship and making a bigger commitment, his eyes just glazed over... and then he became distant from you... and the relationship ended soon after? You were trying to get CLOSER to him, and somehow he kept moving farther AWAY from you.


I'm guessing that when one of these things happened, your girlfriends said things like:"He's just a jerk, forget about him". Or they said: "He doesn't see the mistake he's making or what he'll be missing". But he never seemed to see these mistakes... or even miss you.


And the worst part of all: You kept thinking about it. In fact, it really GOT TO YOU. And I'll bet the REASON why it got to you is because you worried that it might have been something to do with YOU (and not just because he was a total jerk).


In fact, TO THIS DAY you still have the feeling that YOU may have done something wrong, and that you may have CAUSED some of the problems in the first place... and if you would have known the RIGHT thing to do, things would have turned out differently...


Unfortunately, the bad news is that you're probably right. Chances are you DID have something to do with it, and things probably WOULD have turned out differently if you would have known how to deal with the situation. You COULD have done something about it... if only you had known WHAT to do...

Do you know what to do in order to not scared a man away?

Ban BET!!!!!

Well, first the basics. What is BET? BET: Black Entertainment Televison. But what exactly is the meaning of entertainment? Entertainment: 1. the act of entertaining; agreeable occupation for the mind; diversion; amusement 2. something affording pleasure, diversion, or amusement, esp. a performance of some kind.

So if I'm clear, the shows that broadcasts on BET is their form of entertainment. So, really BET is just trying to give amusement or an performance to its viewers. Well, what type of amusement is BET actually trying to protray and who is it for?

Lets' take a look at a few past and present shows that BET has aired for 'entertainment'.

First example: College Hill
To BET: What image was you trying to represent with that show? I looked at College Hill and I seen displays of false stereotypes of the black individual. I seen college students tongue each other down on the first night, well so BET made it seemed. In all actually, that kiss was not done on the very first night as BET protrayed but it happened later on in their stay at the house. BET, was it your purpose to protray black females as fast, easy girls? Because by editing the footage from the house, that is exactly the way that it seemed? In the house, I also heard every other word out of anyone's mouth to be a curse word? BET, was it your intention to protray blacks as individuals that constantly swears? In the house, I also seen a devastating fight, where to individuals fought over complete nonsense. BET, did you want to protray blacks as violent aggressors? I also seen catty arguements and unruly behavior. BET, is that how you wanted to protray Black America, or should I say Young Black America, or was it just some form of 'entertainment'?

To me, it seems that the 'entertainment' that you are protraying is not for the Black culture but for those that down and mistreat the Black culture. Is that who you is trying to 'entertain'? Is BET, Black Entertainment Television, trying to entertain those against blacks success by poking fun at those that are visually supporting their broadcasts?

College Hill is the perfect example of where BET is heading .... completely downhill. I know the process that the BET producers goes through in order to pick canidates for the show; it is long and strenous. So, in their long drawn out process that can't pick individuals that could potentially be role models for young adults and children. (No offense to the past participants of College Hill, but BET did not protray you as such) BET purposely picked the students that they selected for entertainment, to boost ratings, and to gain sponsors.

Second Example: Hot Ghetto Mess
Well, for one the names says alot.

Being that BET is one of the few, if not the only, television stations geared toward blacks, it should tried to lead my example and dismiss all stereotypes that is placed upon the black society. To me, BET is only strengthening the media claims toward blacks thus adding to the problem.

If you turn on BET now, nine times out of ten, there is a show on airing music videos.

TO BE CONTINUED...........

8 Deadly Dating Mistakes Most Men Makes

1. JEALOUSY
Most guys act jealous when there is absolutely NO reason to... which makes them look extremely silly and foolish. Some guys even think that women are impressed by jealousy, likes it's manly or something… nope. No *healthy* woman would want to be with a guy that feels threatened by other men. Women like men that are confident with themselves and at ease around other men. Look at it this way, if your girlfriend or date requires constant supervision, if you can't trust her around other guys... then why would you want her?

2. NEEDINESS
Clingy, sheepish guys who need to be affirmed and reassured all the time don't get respect (which is EXTREMELY bad because respect is the foundation of attraction). Give the woman of your life some space. Show her how strong and independent you are and then pay attention to how she is drawn to you like a magnet.

3. COMPENSATION
Compensating only draws attention to your weakness - it doesn't cover anything up. Focus instead on becoming comfortable with, and overcoming, your flaws rather than trying to disguise them.

4. COMING ON TOO STRONG TOO SOON
People (both men and women) have a tendency to get caught up in the emotions of a new relationship and show too much interest way too soon. Don't jump into relationships… ease into them. With relationships it is better to error on the side of caution - take things slow.

5. CENTERING LIFE AROUND HER
Women are attracted to movers and shakers... and repulsed by men who have no worthy ambition or drive to succeed. When a man becomes dependent on a woman, psychologically, emotionally, or financially he places himself below her (on a psycho-social level) which makes it hard for her to respect him.

6. TRYING TOO HARD
We are taught since we are very young that if we want something we have to try our hardest to get it. For instance, we are told that if we want a high paying job we have to put forth our best effort and in the end we will be rewarded because "hard work always pays off." Getting women is one of those few things in life where the less you try the better your results will be. When guys try too hard to be cool or likeable it is obvious to women and their actions seem forced, unnatural, and unattractive.

7. BRAGGING
Talking yourself up makes you look bad (which is strange since the whole reason people do it is to make themselves look good). Allow your good qualities to come to the surface naturally… a woman will appreciate that 10 times as much and think much more highly of you than if you pointed it out to her.

8. BEING SHEEPISH
Call it what you will (wussy, lack of backbone, being a doormat, etc.), women HATE it. Don't allow ANYONE to overstep your boundaries (you do have boundaries, don't you?)... especially not her. Oftentimes a woman will deliberately test your inner strength by trying to get you to bend your will for her. This is one test you DO NOT want to fail because then it will be IMPOSSIBLE for her to respect you if you give in to her.

Men, are you quilty??

3 Deadly Mistakes Women Makes With Men....

Mistake #1: Leading A Man To Think You Are "Needy" And "Insecure"

Did you know that there are 3 ways you can set off a man's "Insecurity Alert" and make him think twice about pursuing a relationship with you? Sadly, even confident women often "accidentally" give off one of these signs... and just one can kill the chance of a man asking you on a second date.

As you read through these signals men pick up on as "needy" and unattractive, ask yourself if YOU have ever been guilty of committing one of these deadly mistakes:

• Talking or saying nasty things about your past boyfriends. Saying bad things about men you have been involved with actually reflects the negatively back on YOU. It makes a man worry you are carrying around "baggage" that HE will have to deal with should he become involved with you.
• Speaking negatively about other women. When women call other women names like "slut", "bitch", and "crazy", it is anything but impressive to a man you are attracted you. Women will often do this when they see a good looking, desirable woman, especially if they feel their man might be attracted to her. This just makes a man think you are trying to cover up your own insecurities, and looking for validation and attention. Not good.
• Too much physical contact, especially in public. If you are constantly hanging on a man or touching him too much he'll start to see it as clingy behavior... but you'll never hear about this from him. It's far better to save your touches for short and infrequent moments that will surprise and enchant him.

Mistake #2: Appealing To His "Sexual" Side Instead Of His Emotional Side

Many women make the mistake of thinking that men are primarily driven by sex alone... and think if they can attract a man SEXUALLY they will be able to attract him EMOTIONALLY as well. Women too often give up sex to a man in the hopes that it will translate into a relationship and get them what they want. In reality, a man has the capacity to view a sexual connection and an emotional connection as two entirely different things, and it requires a special set of skills to mold these two things together in a man's mind... and keep them connected. Men are out for far more than just sex... and a woman who knows how to fulfill a man EMOTIONALLY and SEXUALLY will be the woman who captures a man's heart... and gets that same fulfillment for HERSELF.

Mistake #3: Not Knowing How To Size Up A Man's "Relationship Potential"

A lot of women will decide whether or not they should put energy into building a relationship with a man based on ATTRACTION. Yes, attraction is important. But it can also be DANGEROUS. When we feel a strong sense of attraction for someone, it can cause us to override our logic and ignore our instincts... leading us to overlook potential partner's deadly faults that could spell trouble down the road. If you've ever found yourself stuck in a relationship that is dragging you down, this is probably why. It's important to be able to size a guy up and spot any "warning signs" of a future bad relationship FAST... so you don't waste any of your time or emotional energy on someone who isn't right for you... or who will leave you heartbroken.

Are you guilty???