Racism

I believe in racism. No, it is not as bad as it was to where blacks couldn't get jobs, adequate salaries, proper housing, or respect, but now it is more undercover. White people still turn their noses up at blacks, whites still denying blacks what is theres, whites still treat blacks differently just cause they are blacks, whites still try to seclude the blacks.. I see it everyday because I live in a majority white city (there are only 4%, maybe less, blacks in a city with a population of over 100,000.... I didn't know it until I moved, so maybe I should have done more research, but its my fault). It is not publicized because at the same time while being racist, whites are also scared of black folks. And because of so many laws that have been passed regarding racism, whites are scared of losing their jobs, their 'perfect' little families, incomes, and everything else that they got while downing the black man.

{And when I say whites I don't mean every single white person in the world, because there are some that treat all races equally. I mean whites as in the white society. Since the world always wants to generalize everyone and everything, the only thing the world would probably understand is another generalization}

I feel this way because I live this way and in this situation. Before I grew up around mostly blacks and some whites and never once experienced any form of racism but since graduating and moving away I have started seeing the 'real world' Maybe in some communities racism don't exist but in the real world it does.

You have to think about it realistically. Only less than 100 years ago, blacks were enslaved. They had nothing, couldn't get anything, and were denied everything. Why do people think that the 'white man', the same man who enslaved them years ago, would allow the black society to rise as they are doing and be happy with it.

Blacks are starting to enpower a lot of things.

• They are taking over the music industry (I guarantee that the black hip-hop, rap, and r&b stars makes more than the heavy metal and country stars)
• They are taking over the TV mainstream (Oprah)
• They are taking over sports (tennis: Venus and Serena, Golf: well back in the day Tiger (although he don't represent his heritage, but the dude sure ain't white), basketball: Shaq, LeBron, Kobe, Dwayne, just to name a few)
• And the lists goes on.

In the Forbes lists, the most powerful person in the world was Oprah. Blacks are really starting to rise and you think that the people who took away their power is just going to sit back and let that happen. Whites know that they can not be racist towards the powerful blacks cause it will be publicized (The whites would not want their actions made public casue it would not have been worth it due to the fact that the consequences to the white man will be more rewarding to the blacks than the joy that the white man got from showing racism and they would not want the blacks to be on top) but they can show racism toward the regular black folks that can either (a) not recognize the racism, (b) not afford a top-power attorney, (c) ignore it, (d) let it happen, (e) and lastly, do something illegal to fight back that will turn all criminal action to the black man and from the whites.

If A Man Wants You....

Something I read that was pretty good.

IF A MAN WANTS YOU

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship
that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what
makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating
you as you deserve
Then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't
mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along,
then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better."
You'll be mad at yourself a year later
for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children
by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant,
Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything.
He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior.
Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...
Even if he has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...
Compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships.
There is nothing cute about baggage...
Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...
A relationship consistsof two WHOLE individuals.
Look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...
When a man always know where you are,
and your always readily available to him-
He takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give y
ou everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

The Secret??? This was written by a MAN!!!!

Just my thoughts on the matter....

I am getting tired of reading all theses stories about how black woman are angry cause all of the black men are going towards white women, therefore leaving the black women lonely. ..

For one, it is not an issue that black men are dating outside of their race. For as my motto goes: Love sees no color. It is an issue of why they are dating outside of their race. I feel it is mostly because of ignorance and insecurities.

Me, myself, as a strong BLACK woman, have no problem with black men going toward other races. It just means that that particular black male was not meant for me. I know who I am and a black man going to a white woman does not intimidate me nor does that event matter to me. What matters to me is their reasons for choosing a white woman over a black one. Some men feel that a white woman is more submissive while a black woman is more controlling and independent. Some black men also feels that a white woman will keep a shape longer than a black woman. One man even said that older white woman (30-35) are sexier and their body is more fit than black woman of that age. He made that comment based on the fact that there are more white women in the gym than blacks. My response was that some black woman might not have the time nor money to spend at the gym. And also, just because the black women are not at that one particular gym that doesn't mean that they are not working out at other gyms or at their houses. But to me, that whole statement that that black male made was ignorant. It is those reasons and many more that supports my feelings for the reasons that black men dates white women.

What I don't understand is their logic behind their actions. Did they just block out slavery? Did they block out how their ancestors were treated years ago? Did they forget that it was the white woman who cause them to be beaten? Do they just ignore the fights that blacks still have to fight even today? Do they just ignore the racism that is still going on today between blacks and the white woman that they are dating? What about the past?

And everyone is so quick to say that a black man is not with a black woman because the black woman is loud, overbearing, controlling, independent, etc. Well, so be it. To me it shows that some black men are just not strong enough to handle a black woman.

A black male getting with a white woman says nothing about me, as so many women may feel. Every black male in the world could be with a white woman, AND I WILL STILL BE A STRONG, EDUCATED, FINANCIALLY-STABLE, BLACK WOMAN and PROUD OF IT.

For the Black Woman...

**Just something that I read.. No explanation is needed because it speaks for itself**

Dear Sister2Sister:
I’m sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers. I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don’t understand a lot of Black female’s attitudes about our relationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage. Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don’t they look at themselves and make some changes.

I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we’re out in public. I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them. Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes…I could go on and on. But, right now, I’m a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don’t be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I’m wrong, Black men, let me know.

Jamie, Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA



RESPONSE:

Dear Jamie:
I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl. Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful black men. I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why black men date white women. Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered “easy”.

The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls. Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control. I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful black men date white women. Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth “Babyface” Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few. I just don’t want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Read your history!

It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the black woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery. It is the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. black women were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise!It is because of the black women’s strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my black Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them.

It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them. Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with black women. I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don’t you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous? I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has.

BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill. No offense taken, none given.

Signed, Black Royalty

America, What Is Wrong??

Everyday in America there is a new stereotype/myth being invented.. 'You have to be young, to be talented', 'You have to be white to make it in Corporate America', 'You have to be skinny to be on TV', 'You have to be pretty to be noticed'. America, really, what is wrong?

More and more, children are trying to live up to these stereotypes. They are throwing away all morals and values taught by their parents just to live up to America. Who says being light-skinned is beautiful? Who says having long hair down your back is beautiful? Who says being tall is beautiful? Who says being skinny is beautiful? Who says you have to have a million dollars in the bank to make a difference? Who says you have to go against everything that you think is right to be noticed? Who exactly made these rules???

Well if those 'so called' rules exist, then what about those that are dark-skinned? And those with short hair? And those that are not a size 2? And those that are short? And those who have $1000 in the bank? And those who live by the morals and values that they were taught? What about them?? What about those people??

America is losing their individuality. Culture deemed one type of person important, so now everyone is trying to mimic that person. I bet if an average person look around as they walk the streets, they will see minimal to none of the people that culture deemed important/significane. Why? Because the people that culture deem important is not real. Look on the TV, half of the size 2s is only size 2s cause of surgery. Half of the high cheek bones, thick lips, and superb noses are only that cause of surgery. Why is America striving to be something that is not real.

Everyone was placed in their package for a reason. Take a lady who is a size 14. Be beautiful in your size 14. If everyone was meant to be a size 2, then there would not be any other sizes available in the store. You only live once. And if you are living it starving yourself, then it will make for a very boring lifespan. Take the girls in the media. Why is almost every star gluing, sewing, or infusing hair into their scalps? Who implanted the notion that long hair is beautiful?

Why are there not more 'larger than a size 2' females on TV? Why must every star fit that 'ideal image'? Or at least the 'ideal image' set by society? I once read that many all black sitcoms don't live long on TV because White America can not relate to a black person being in power. Well, if that ignorance is true, then why are there so many skinny people on TV? Why are there so many rich people on TV? If TV was the basis of real life, the world would be filled with skinny people, with ideal jobs, ideal homes, ideal families, no problems, money to throw around, a buck load of trustworthy friends, no violence, spoiled kids who started their life troublesome but end up going to an Ivy League school, etc. How can people relate to that?

I mean, America, really......what is wrong? What happened to our individuality? What happened to our self pride? Why must we strive to be what the media/culture says is right? Who deemed them the voice of America anyways?? So tell me, America, what is wrong?

What is Love....

What is Love? That is the age old question. I mean really, how do you really know if you are in love or not? And if you are in love, then what? Right now, I think I am in love. Well, no...let my rephrase that..... I KNOW that I am in love. But what really does that mean? I mean sure I get butterflies whenever I see my significant other and sure I get chills whenever he touches me and sure I feel all cheerful inside whenever I hear his voice, but........ That means what???? I have heard so many stories about people who are madly in love, but for some odd reasons they decide not to be together. So, if you can be in love but not be together, then do love really mean that much? Cause every counseling, marriage, family, or whatever, the first question is 'Are you in love?' Well, why ask that question if love is not the basis for a happy relationship? Or is it?

Sure when you love someone, it has been proven that you also care about them and only wishes them well, so after one does the math it seems that love has to be part of a meaningful relationship. I agree, love should be part of a relationship, but it shouldn't be the only thing. Other things should be considered.....like respect, and honor.....just to name a few.

There are so many couples who are in midst of a divorce, but a short while before filling they swore that they were in love. There are some many males and females who are cheating on their mates, but before, during, and sometimes after they swore up and down that they were in love? So is love really the basis of all relationships?

I think that love can easily be confused.... Just because you care about some one or you want them to be happy that doesn't mean that you love them. Love is an action of the heart. Unfortunately, the heart has no brain. The heart confuses caring and lust for love and that thought is transferred to the brain as love. But is it really?

So the age ole question..... What is love and what do it really mean? I am still yet to find out.........