Jayden's BIRTH DAY

WHOO HOOO!!!

Mark your calendars!!! Today is Jayden's BIRTH DAY!!!

Motherhood begins.. AND I'M READY!!!!!

How would a person know if they were REALLY gay or a lesbian??

Well its 5 in the morning and I can't sleep. My husband is still in the bed sleeping, so I decided to go in the living a watch a movie.

I'm a member of Blockbuster Online so every once in a while I pick movies that never went to the theatres and are practically unheard of. My latest pick is this movie called 'After Sex'. It follows 6 couples and their relationships as it centers around sex.

One scene showed two guys just finishing have sex. One of those guys recently came out and the other just experienced his first time with a male and began questioning his sexuality. Then the question arose in my mind....

"How would you know if you are really gay?"

Take sex, instance. Does a female letting another female go down on her makes her gay? What if that female had her eyes closed and was simply enjoying the moment?

Sex is simply, in my opinion, a feeling of sensation. Because you have sex with a person of same sex, does that automatically make you gay? Just because you enjoy sex and the person who is administering it is the same sex does that make you gay?

Just speaking real, in my past, I have had sex with men who I had no feelings for. It was simply sex; nothing more, nothing less. Would it be different if one of those men was female? Would I be gay then? I had no feelings for them and the experience was just a feeling of sensation.

Basically is being gay the love to have sex with the same sex or is being gay the feelings shared between two people of the same sex?

What if a female loves to have sex with a particular female just because that particular female makes her feel her best? It have nothing to do with that female's sexuality but, more so, with her desire to be pleased. What if that same female was in love with a male but the sensation received from that particular female is better than from the male that she loves? Is she a lesbian although she is in love with a male and just so happens loves when a particular female pleases her?

So the question still stands.... How would a person know if they are really gay?

Mistakes...

Everyone makes mistakes..

Most mistakes are usually self-inflicted.

Should mistakes be regretted? Should a person sulk because of a past mistake?

A mistake is an action made by a person. A mistake is only a mistake if the resulting outcome from that action have a negative effect. Since that mistake was intentionally done by a person can it be regretted just because it didn't produce positive results? Just because things didn't turn out right, can a person just regret them? Can mistakes even be regretted?

True, mistakes are unwanted. They sometimes causes pain or even causes someone to go without.

Is it fair to regret a mistake just because the results are not pleasurable?

Should mistakes be seen as a learning situation? Rather than sulking, should a person analyze their mistake, understand why they made that mistake, and then figure out a plan to correct the mistake or at least make the situation better?

Even though mistakes are self-inflicted, is it easy for a person to just see it as a learning situation and move on? Even though a mistake is one's own fault, is it easy to just figure out a plan to correct the mistake?

No one likes mistakes. Mistakes shine light in one's life making all negative visible. Mistakes brings most badness to light and also create obstacles and barriers.

No one want to admit to a self-inflicted mistake because admitting to that means admitting to being the cause of the current badness in their life.

So can a mistake even be regretted? Can one actually regret their own doings? Is it even fair to regret something just because the results was not as expected?

Life brings many loops and turns. Some actions causes a loop that leads to a positive, easy road and some actions causes a loop that leads to a negative, rough road. Just because the road is not positive and easy is it fair to call that action a mistake? Similarly, it is right to accept and be happy with an action just because it leads to the positive and easy road. Should all actions be thought of as equal?

Once an action is done, should the resulting road not matter? Before all actions, should a person be content with that action thus forcing them to be content with the result?

Should every action be a learning situation? Regardless of the outcome, should an action solely be defined as a teaching tool making the resulting outcome simply noted as the lesson learned?

Everyone makes mistakes. The way that mistake is viewed determines the next step. That mistake can either be seen as a result from a lesson or as the effect of an action.

Either way, a person's mindset controls their life.

Marriage --

Life is SOOO funny...

From one action, many things happen. No one have control over anything that will happen. No one can say, 'Positive come forth' and expect only positive to come.

From the moment of saying 'I Do', two people's lives are changed forever. Neither of those people know what to expect. All the planning and talking in the world will not force a happy marriage.

The saying of 'I do' in marriage can be viewed the same as making any important decision in life. That decision will change a person's life. Since the outcome of that decision is not known, a person should be content with that decision thus forcing them to be content with the future outcome.

Marriage is what you make of it; not what you expect from it. Going into a marriage with assumptions and expectations will only cause failure.

No one knows for sure what will happen tomorrow. A person can only live for today. Make today the best and hope that tomorrow will follow in the same pattern..

Michael Jackson BKA 'Daddy'

Ever since June 25th, the media have circled around Michael Jackson's death. Since then, I have read many articles and seen many news stories and documentaries surrounding his life. It wasn't until just now that I became touched.

I just finished reading an article on Yahoo! News about when Michael's daughter, Paris, spoke. It was very heartfelt and touching. Even though, I didn't watch the memorial service this article and the clip that accompanied it left me with a wonderful feeling.

The article is linked below....

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090708/ap_en_ce/us_michael_jackson_children

Working People Need Love Too....

My baby will be due tomorrow... [*deep breath and sigh of relief*] Well not due but HOPE to be due. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and that visit will determine if I am admitted to the hospital immediately or sent home to suffer some more.

Anyways.. Long story short, me and my husband have to pay a $2.5k deposit BEFORE I can be admitted to the hospital. Making a longer story short, I may be admitted tomorrow and $2.5k is $2k over our admittance budget.

We tried every avenue to avoid going into our 'emergency' stash. The patient financial lady at the hospital mentioned Medicaid. Although, I know I have never been and mostly probably will never be eligible for government assistance, we gave it a try anyways. Especially since at the moment my husband is 'between jobs'.. [the nice way of saying unemployed...lol] and we have a new baby so my old family jumped from 1 to 3.

Anywhoo, as expected, I am ineligible. That one lil sentence leads me to my current rant.... Working people need love to.....

Government assistance programs are only out to help those who can't and sometimes won't help themselves. For a family of three, the combined income can't be more than $3k a month. It is impossible for 3 people to survive on $3k a month. It is impossible for anyone to survive on government standards

In this world, there are people who are busting out babies and have no jobs, but yet get free food, health care, money, and a place to stay. While people who are working hard are struggling.

I had to do jury duty about three months ago and there was this lady there who was one of the potential jurors who said that she had 3 children. She was then asked about her employment and replied with 'I am unemployed'. I was like 'my point'. Now, I am not talking bad about people who just hit a rock in the road and was laid off unexpectedly. This lady was no older than 25. The Counsel for the State cracked a joke about it but the lady didn't find it funny.

I called the Social Security Office yesterday and asked 'Are there any assistance programs available whose sole purpose is not to reward the poor?'. Of course, she got an attitude.

My philosophy in life is.. 'If one can, then all can'. I don't like hearing stories about 'because of childhood circumstances' or 'because of a deadbeat baby daddy' or 'because my parents wasn't there' and blah blah blah. Those stories are a dime a dozen and happens to thousands. If one in that thousand can, then all in that thousand can. Someone who tells those stories are simply making excuses.

There are people in this world who are working hard and trying to provide for themselves. Those same people can't catch a break cause as I speak the price of milk, bread, and other food items are rising. The price of gas is rising. The price to rent an apartment is rising. The interest rates on credit cards are rising. And, unfortunately, the unemployment rate is rising. Working families are struggling while those who just sits on there butts are getting a free ride.

I have a 'fake' dream to be President. I say 'fake' because it will never happen solely because of my platform. If I was President I would get rid of the current government assistance program. I would create a program that will assist all and not just the low class.

In my program:

• No assistance will just be given away. To gain assistance, the citizen must also provide. Meaning, first off, to get any assistance the citizen must have a job. That citizen will be granted assistance based on their income. Obviously, those making little will get a little more but their sole income will not be government assistance. For example: Those in the $25k yearly income bracket or less will be matched 75% of their income. Those in the $26k to $35k yearly income bracket will be matched 45% of their income. Those in the $36k to $45k yearly income bracket will be matched 15% of their income. Those in the $46k to $55k yearly income bracket will be matched 5% of their income. Those in the $56k to $60k yearly income bracket will be matched 4% of their income. Those in the $61k to $75k yearly income bracket will be matched 1% of their income bracket. The cut off is $75k a year.
• Citizens will not get multiple benefits. From the above stipulation, citizens will get one check dispersed to them reflecting a month's worth of benefits. So for example, those in the $25k yearly income bracket will receive a check for $1562 a month. That check can be used to assist with food, medical expenses, housing arrangements, etc.
• No one will be given free health care. There will be many levels of health care. Like the current system, there will be government and private insurers. The minimum health coverage available will consist of a low number of pre-selected providers and hospitals and minimum medical options available. The minimum coverage available would be priced between $5 to $25 a month. There will also be co-pays. The maximum health coverage available will consist of a wide range of providers and health providers and hospitals and more medical options will be available. The maximum health coverage would be priced between $125 to $200 a month. There will be many health coverages available between the min and max coverage with varying price ranges. So, the philosophy will basically be 'you get what you pay for'.
• Taxes would be handled with the same scheme as government assistance. It will be percentage based. All citizens regardless of their income bracket must pay the same percentage of income taxes. Those in lower income brackets must not get special treatment because they are breathing the same air and riding on the same roads as those in higher income brackets.
• There will be job assistance programs that will assist the unemployed and there will also be community centers that provide free training in all career aspects.

Those are just some of the provisions that I would include in my platform. Basically if everyone should be treated equal based on the color of their skin then everyone should be treated equal based on the amounts in their checking accounts.

Working people need love too... cause this world is rough...

Charm School??

Good Morning.. I am a reality TV addict...

I must admit I watch reality TV shows constantly. In fact, they are probably the only thing on TV right now that is decent to watch. Last night I watched 'Charm School'; that show on VH1 hosted by Ricki Lake also starring Lala and some dude. Well, I am starting to get turned off from it...

I honestly don't even know what their meaning of 'Charm' is. I watched other 'personality type' shows like 'From G's to Gents' and I understood their point of view and their objective but Charm School is on a whole other level. On 'G's', the men was reward for their good deeds and those who was not representing a G was sent home. However, on Charm School it seems that those are are representing Charm are sent home and those with no hope and is probably acting for the $100k stays to ensure more schooling. However, I can somewhat see their point. Stay in school and learn more and once acquired all skills bounce. BUT taking that approach should also eliminate the need for the $100k prize. If the goal is to stay there to learn then the winner should be rewarded with Charm.

To me Charm School is a joke. There who reason for keeping unCharmed girls is because they still have learning to do. Well, to me, if they still have learning to do after all of this time then they obviously are not learning. The girls who are learning should be kept so they could learn some more and the one who have learned the most and proved to be the most Charmed should be granted the prize of $100k.

But thinking about it though, Charm School started off keeping the Charmed girls and getting rid of the unCharmed. I guess somewhere along the way, the Charm got lost..

Charm School need to be revamped quickly cause most of the girls left are a waste of TV time and honestly none of them deserve the money.

The Media Effect

I'm an Internet guru. Not one day passes in which I haven't [a] checked my email, [b] browsed current events, [c] researched something seen or heard, or [d] just played around online.

Most of that have to do with the point that I am on the computer Monday-Friday from 8:00 AM to 4:30 PM and occasionally on the weekends.

Since Thursday [June 25th] the Internet have been filled with either Michael Jackson's news stories, tributes, or slander. With all that I read about Michael in the past few days, I probably know more about his personal life than my own left hand...lol The media is covering every angle of Michael's life from his children to his estate to his funeral arrangements to his family. Everyone is coming out of the parks to talk about their history with Michael. There have been some that haven't talked to Michael in over 7 years but still had something to say. Reports of secret marriages, non-biological children, lawsuits, and drug addictions are surfacing. Every aspect of Michael's past life is now up for grabs and the media [and some others after his cash] is digging..

Just the vibe of the last week tells a little about the effect the media have on a person. Michael Jackson is [or was] only human. He faced the same insecurities, problems, depression, and crisis that non-celebrities faced. The only difference is that Michael had the voice and the moves but even with all of that he is only human. The media dugged in his life so hard. They stretched and pulled every insignificant speck of his life and turned it into headline news.

I believe Michael was the victim of *duh, duh, duuhhhh* The Media Effect. It is now being reported that Michael abused painkillers and sedatives. Both of which he used to shield himself from the media. The media have tormented Michael his whole career and even went as far as to coin the phrase 'Wacko Jacko'. Like I said earlier Michael was only human. He felt pain just like the rest of us.

The media is a terrible attribute in today's society. They will twist anything just to get a good story. There is a website called MediaTakeOut.com and they are always telling lies. In fact, they sometimes make up stories just to be popular. That website remains me of the unpopular nerdy kid in school whose only wish was to fit in with the 'cool' kids. The media does not care who they hurt or effect. Their only purpose is to be cool. They will do anything to appear cool, even if it means making up a story or bending the truth a little just to fit in. The media hurts others just to make themselves look better. The media knows that breaking a story, or even a made-up story, would give them credibility. It will make their show or site popular thus increasing their revenue.

The media have figured out that in order to succeed and be prosperous, you must hurt the next one at all costs. Unfortunately, society, particularly celebrities, must beware of the *duh, duh, duuhhh* The MEDIA EFFECT!!!