Monday, December 7, 2009

the Cheating Affair

Soooo....... I've been married for 6 months and it have been tough to say the least...


BUT I'm not going to talk about my marriage cause I'm sure there are some out there that are tougher than mines so I will just leave the talk of mine alone.. I will, however, talk about the lack of respect that marriage holds these days.

Being married, I have a soft spot for cheating and affairs. One whisper of it and I hit the fan.

Before God, two people stood to have and to hold, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, and until death do them part, but society is screwing the vows.

Men are cheating on their wives and women are cheating on their husbands.

To some, marriage means a great deal. It means a lot to have someone there at all times. Not only do the person's thoughts and views matter but also their partners.

I greatly dislike women and men who openly seduce, interact with, and fornicate married individuals. Honestly, and just speaking real, if my husband would interact with someone who both of us knows, I would slit both of their throats. Sure that reaction may be a harsh one, but I take marriage seriously.

It takes a lot of effort to be married. Effort that only God can fully provide.

When one cheats on their marital partner, I feel that that is the greatest disrespect.

Lately, everything that I read talks about someone cheating on wife or husband.

I think it is pathetic how these men/women can just blantantly have sex with another woman/man when they have a wife/husband at home who is trying to do their best.

The whole situation just makes me mad. I feel that there is a need for a more forceful pre-marital counseling. Me and my husband went through counseling but it didn't cover all the aspects that it should have. The Pastor need to ask questions tailored towards everyday living. An open panel with other married and engaged couples should also be included in the pre-marital counseling.

It should take more than a ring, a minister, and a marriage license to get married. Just how it takes work to get the marriage license, one should be forced to attend a class before they can be permitted to get married. If the class is not successful, then the marriage application should be denied.. Plain and simple.

Friday, October 2, 2009

BIRTHDAY Month

October is my birthday month...

Ummm.. Not really excited. In the past, I used to make a big deal about my birthday but this time around its different.. Not sure why the change of heart but I'm just not that excited..

Maybe cause I'm getting old.. 26.. I will be officially closer to 30 than 20.. Although, 30 is the new 20.. 30 is just a lot to take in.. Once you reach 30, people start calling you ma'am. Yeah, ma'am means respect but people call my mom ma'am. I'm just not quite sure if I'm ready to be put into the category with my mom just yet..

Anywoo... Yes, I will still celebrate it.. But as far as getting all worked up about it... Nah..

I ask my husband everyday what he will do for my birthday. Each time he tells me its a surprise.. So, I guess I'll wait...

Well.. the COUNTDOWN begins.... 23 more days!!!

I'm In Love With Another Man

I just got done watching Jazmine Sullivan's "I'm In Love With Another Man' video.. It's not the first time I watched it but the first time I thought to comment..

SN: I LOVE that song. I used to sing it all the time when I first heard it. It sort of reminded me of my husband..

Anywhoo.. That girl in that video was so wrong. Now I'm sure because of editing it gives the impression that the girl slept with that man on first meet. But, either way, first, second, or tenth meet, the girl is still wrong. She had a boyfriend. It wasn't no rinky-dink passer-by boyfriend. They was very serious and was dating for a while because engagement was an option. Just analyzing the man, he seems like one who got himself together. Nice house, nice car so definitely not a man who would marry the first skirt he met. So I'm assuming that lots was shared and much thought went into proposing..

Never in a relationship should someone have the opportunity to fall in love with someone else. While in a relationship, both partners should be devoted to the other. Time to 'play the field' should not even exist. If there comes a point when either are not deeply rooted, then the other should be informed.

Plus, it should never get that far to where you love someone while in a relationship with someone else. It takes a lot to love someone and that lots includes a substantial period of time. Never should a person be in a relationship with someone but spending time with someone else..


All in all, get song.. Enjoy the video below...


Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Steve Harvey Morning Show..

I haven't been watching the Steve Harvey show like I used to. I used to live approx 50 miles from work so I was always in the car during the Strawberry Letter 23 segment, but I moved approx 15 miles from work so I am almost NEVER in the car at that time anymore.

Basically, I used to be a Strawberry Letter regular but now I catch it whenever. Shirley's comments were usually lame but Steve was somewhat head on and entertaining. Well ever since Steve's re-found celebrity status, he have been appearing on many talk shows. His newest gig is Good Morning America. Since he is always on another show other than his own, they brought in someone to give the man's point of view of the Strawberry Letter. That man is Steve A.

I don't agree with his viewpoint to say the least.

Today the letter was about a woman who is witnessing her father's player ways. She wrote in because she is hurt and disappointed with her father. Shirley, of course, gave the lame response, but it was WAY better than Steve A's. He was way off mark. It was as if he was recently hurt by a woman cause he went down on the lady in the letter.

He basically said that her father is a grown man so he should be allowed to live his life the way he chooses and not how she wishes he would live it. In my opinion, that is a bunch of crap. So, he is saying that once a man reaches a certain age, he can throw all morals and values out the window and start living life based on his personal preferences. In my opinion, cheating is disrespectful. So let Steve A tell it, a man can be disrespectful once he is of age.

So tell me, what is that age? At what point is it acceptable for a man to be a jackass? 30? 40? 50?

Monday, September 28, 2009

Another One of Those Moments..

Just Random....

I'm watching Ginuwine's 'Last Chance' video. It's not my first time watching it but I did, however, notice something for the first time today...

Tyrese is cute. Granted, I seen Tyrese over a million times; movies, vidoes, tv, etc, but I never noticed his sex appeal before.

Maybe it was the lightning in the video but Tyrese got it..

He kinds of remind me of my husband on the slick. My hubby is considering going bald so he shaved off all of his hair. He is my lil sexy milk dud... :)

Anywhoo.. Just some random thoughts...

Friday, September 25, 2009

Monica --

Every once in a while, I run into something that I just HAVE to write about.

I'm on YouTube listening to some OldSkool Jams. Started with RL, mixed in some Tyrese and Donnell Jones, and now I'm on Monica.

Back when Monica first came out, I was in high school or junior high [it depends what year she came out.. .idk]. When you are in high school, you don't care about rifts and vocals and all of that stuff.. All you, or I should say I, cared about it was how the music sounded. Back in the day, I loved Monica. Her songs was pretty good and I could most times related to the lyrics.

Well, while listening to her songs today I discovered something else... That Monica can blow!! I mean the girl got some pipes on her. And then she have that attitude that makes you want to stand up and listen.

Much props goes to Monica. I think she have a new CD coming out.. I will be on the look out...



Spanking Lowering IQs??

OK.. I just read an article.. WAIT -- Scratch that.. I just read an article's title. It was 'Spanking May Lower Kids IQs'..

I started to read the article but stopped after only the second sentence.. I disagree..

I don't think spanking lowers a child's IQ. I think it lowers their confidence.

A child gets a spanking when they does something wrong. However, most times a child gets a spanking after doing something once. Umm.. Example: A child decides to draw on the wall with marker. Maybe they just seen a documentary on the man who painted the Sistine Chapel.... [Ok.. Don't know his name and maybe just butchered the spelling of the chapel or maybe cathedral but roll with me] and decided they wanted to paint a masterpiece too. Well, instead of getting recognition, the child got a red butt instead. That child will never paint on the wall again and maybe will never try something that ambitious again..

So from that example, it is not that the spanking made the child dumber, but instead made the child less confident. That child will always be afraid of doing something wrong.

Take talking back.. That is probably the number one reason for most spankings.. A child might be afraid to speak their mind out of fear of getting spanked.

IQ is not what you know. Instead it is what others think you know. A mute is considered mentally challenged until someone realizes that the person can't talk.

A child who is constantly spanked loses the courage to take risks and make impromptu decisions. That child usually just flows with the normal. Instead of doing it all and seeing the results, that child would then only do stuff that is known to be right while avoiding all that may be wrong or never attempted.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

1-800-Find-A-Child

Last night at 1:36AM, the phone rung. Because me and my husband was dead tired, all it did was rung cause neither of us even attempted to respond to the ring... lol

Anyways.. I asked him to read the caller ID after it stopped ringing and it said EBR SpeedRing. Neither of us knew what that meant. It just so happened that at 1:50AM Jayden woke up for his bottle so my husband went in the kitchen to fix it. As he passed the living room, he noticed we had a message on the answering machine so listened to it.

As it turns out EBR SpeedRing is an automatic service that calls residents to alert them of a missing child.

I was like.. WTH!!! OK.. I have sympathy for the parents but 1:36AM? I mean really.. Couldn't that call have been made during regular hours? If the ringer would have been on in our room that phone call would have scared the living day lights out of me. BUT I just let it go and went back to sleep but not before making a mental note to called EBR and complain..

So, I made it to work and noticed that I had a message on my company phone. I checked it and it was the same EBR SpeedRing. They called at 1:21AM.. Again WTH!!! I am still waiting to see if everyone got that message or just me. [People here listen to their messages on speaker and since my office door is always open, I could somewhat make out the messages of my office neighbors]

Never in my day have I heard of an automatic service that called everyone and their mama to tell them of a missing child. Sure, if it was mine, I would want the message out but 1 in the morning.. Isn't there a more appropriate time??

An Angel Among Us

I had a rough night and morning. Things are basically falling apart right before my eyes. However, God is an all-time God.

This morning, I woke up late. I have class today so I leave work at 12:00 and return back at 2:00pm. Because of that, on days I have class I arrive to work earlier and leave a lil later. I had planned on leaving my house at 6:30AM so to arrive at work for 7:15AM.

But the alarm clock was not set, so I woke up at 6:21AM. I had to get myself and my son ready so no way I could leave out the house for 6:30AM or even close to that. I did, however, leave at 7:05AM. [Still don't know how I did that cause it usually takes me an hour .. but anyways...]

I was running extremely late. I couldn't even feed my son his morning bottle this morning.. I felt really bad about that.. I darn near cried when he cried. Surprisingly though, he wasn't crying bad. He was just doing his normal whining as if he wanted to be picked up. [I know because when I picked him up, he stopped crying.. lol]

Anyways.. I sped to day care and was forced to park between two cars.. [1] I am a terrible drive-in parker so even on a regular day I would have had problems. [2] I have a 2-door car with extremely long doors..

So, after I parked I realized I was a lil close to one car but I figured I could just squeeze through like I always do at work. Well, at work I am not taking an over sized car seat out the back so lets just say I had problems...

As I was struggling to get Jayden out the car and concentrating on not hitting the car next to me, the car's owner just so happened to come outside and said 'Don't even worry about it. It is just a car'. I started saying 'thank you' profusely.

God sent an angel down this morning..

Something so small yet with great magnitude.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Pyramid Schemes

With the current state of the economy, a lot of people are turning towards self-employment or work from home businesses.

So basically, Mary Kay is looking really good to some people. I 'sell' Mary Kay. I use the word 'sell' loosely because I am my only customer.

I have been an Independent Beauty Consultant since 2005. When I first started, I tried to sell to other people. I mentioned the new career to all I knew, sent hundreds of emails, made thousands of phone calls, and even advertised online. However, I had no success..

Mary Kay is another pyramid scheme.

Don't get me wrong. There are ladies who are generating a good income from Mary Kay alone. The key to Mary Kay is recruitment. The more people who work under you, the more money you make.

There are many different levels in the company. Every person on top gets a percentage of a person's below sales. So ladies high in the Mary Kay chain are bringing in a pretty penny.

The problem arises for Independent Beauty Consultants. As of today, there are millions of ladies in the business. And as time passes, more ladies are being recruited.

To sell Mary Kay, you need people to sell to. There are only so many people in the world who are willing to buy Mary Kay. Of those people, 5 different consultants are trying to sell to them which makes it impossible for every consultant to generate a decent income.

I am all for Mary Kay. I LOVE their products. In fact, I use their Time Wise 3 n 1 cleanser and my face is flawless. I get comments on my skin on the regular. It looks as if I am wearing make-up but my face is completely natural.

So I give Mary Kay their props. Unfortunately, I am my only customer cause after a while 'Oh, I sell Mary Kay, too' gets a lil old...

SIDE NOTE: I am my only customer by choice because I enjoy the 50% discount on Mary Kay products...

I'll be DAMN!!!

OK.. As usual, I browse Yahoo! News for interesting articles. The first article that got my attention was one about Khloe and Lamar's plans to be wed. [lol @ how I used only their first names like I know them] I'm not sure why I wanted to read it, but I decided to..

Well this blog entry is not about their planned nuptials although they are rather rushed but instead the last sentence of the article.

His other son, Jayden, was 7 months old when he died in his crib in 2006.

This sentence caught my eye for two reasons: [1] My son's name is Jayden and is spelled the same way and [2] in a previous article, I read that his infant son died of SIDS.

I am not a SIDS expert, but I thought SIDS was common in younger infants; like 4 months and below. I read an article that said that the risk of SIDS is substantially lowered once a child is able to roll over. I expect a child to roll over by 6 months, which is why that statement struck me..

Being a parent is hard. My head is filled with constant worries. One way of staying calm throughout it all was thinking that SIDS is only a great risk NOW but won't be an issue as my son grows. Hearing about Lamar's son brought my panic meter up 100 points. SIDS is not thoroughly explained. No doctor or scientist know the exact cause of SIDS. Some only explain some preventative methods with no mention of clear, concise facts.

Basically, SIDS is a parent's worst nightmare cause it can just sneak up with no warning.

So, now I have the SIDS monster on my back for at least another 10 months. And it doesn't help that the child mentioned had the exact same name as my own...

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Motherhood

I LOVE being a mom....

This morning my lil man was so full of life. His dad got him ready and feed him this morning while I got myself ready. After his dad was done, he strapped lil Jay in his car seat to ponder the sights.

Everywhere I went Jay's beautiful eyes followed. He was also playing with his burp rag. His dad put it over his clothes so he wouldn't dirty himself before he left the house. Jayden was tugging on both sides and occasionally tried to put it in his mouth.

Jayden is the cutest baby ever. If I could spend every minute with him I would.

Yesterday, he was the best too... We was sitting in the living room watching TV and Jayden was sitting on my lap so peacefully playing with his hands. He likes to put his fingers in his mouth now so he was just licking away..

It was too cute..

Monday, September 21, 2009

Pre-Ordering Doom...

Usually pre-ordering comes with it benefits...

Don't have to wait in lines. Always one of the first.. And on and on...

Well, not in all cases. Last year in October, I pre-ordered BCFX: The Doug Williams Edition. BCFX stands for Black College Football Experience. It is developed by a company called Nerjyzed Entertainment and I actually got to design part of the game.

Anyways... I pre-ordered the game because there is a drum line mini game that allows you to compete head to head on classic HBCU's fight/band songs.

I ordered the game with the assumption that it would be released by December of that same year. Decemeber came and gone. It was then announced that the game would be released in April, then May, then June, then August, and then September. As of today, I still have no game. The lastest release date was September 8th.

A few minutes ago, I checked GameStop just to make sure the date was still set and to my surprise it has changed to September 29th. In the past 11 months, the release date has changed about 12 times.

My interest in this game is starting to wither away. I won't hold my breath for the 29th.

Yes, pre-ordering have benefits but it have major set backs if the company you are ordering from is just starting out.

I'm a LIL confused...

I'm a twit-gular so during my daily browse I noticed that Pooch Hall is repping this new show on CBS 'Accidently on Purpose' hard. Well, I never heard of that show before so I went to cbs.com to check it out..

Oddly enough, Pooch is not mentioned on the show at all. On his twitter page, he constantly talks about taping shows and whatnots yet he is not mentioned as a character on the show...

Umm...

Anywhoo...

At first my main point for writing this blog was to question 'The Game' status. I, mean, of course there would not be any new shows if one of the main characters was now a main character on another show BUT... Since Pooch is not even mentioned on AOP's page.. I'm a lil confused...

Friday, September 18, 2009

the Workplace

OK.. It finally happened.. After one year and 10 days it finally happened... I am officially in f*ck it mode..


People always clown me about how I keep changing jobs. It is not because I get fired, laid off or anything like that. I simply quit. Of course, it is after I find a new one. Anywhoo.. I quit because I get sick of working at that place so I move on.


Alot of people hate their jobs but yet they continue to go to that same place day after day. I don't. Once I get to the point where I hate my job, I move on.. It just so happens that I am a beast at interviewing so I usually get jobs fast.


Or it could be because I am a black female engineer who talks a good game. Everyone is looking to diversify their workplace and the best way to diversify a white male dominated field is to add a black female in the mix. Currently, there are 11 people who work in my office. One black male, five white males, three foreigners [umm... chinese, asian, or something], one german [or french.. really don't know], and one black female... ME!!!!


Just speaking realistically, sure I have some darn good credentials, but sometimes people just need to darken it up a little..


Anyways... Because of my surroundings, I keep to myself. I mean, really, how much can I say to a bunch of multicultural middle-aged men. I pass, say 'hello', and that usually ends my convo with them for the day.. Well I guess some mistook my meekness for weakness..


Well, getting to the point of this blog.. Today is the day that I officially hate my job so it is time for me to move on..


To keep a long story short... Basically the respect is gone so it is time for me to move on..

Thursday, September 17, 2009

New Age Ebonics

I used to consider myself a fluent ebonics speaker, but am I too old for the game??

I don't live by the chivalry laws so I have no problem opening the door for myself. As long as both of my hands are not filled with stuff, I don't see any inconvenience in me opening a door.

With that said, while walking into the building of my class I held the door open for this young fella. He responded with 'fa sho'. I was dumbfounded. As far as I know, 'fa sho' is sort of like a your welcome. I didn't know how to respond to his statement. Awkwardly, though, I started to murmur a 'thank you'. [I just figured a 'your welcome' deserved a 'thank you'] Just as the words was exiting my mouth, I realized how crazy it would be for me to say that so I immediately took it back leaving outsiders with a simple, yet mumbled 'thank'.

When did 'fa sho' become a substitute for 'thank you'? Am I really getting that old?

Maybe I should brush up on my ebonics. Or maybe.. The fella was struck by my beauty and he, too, murmured a completely dumbfounded remark.

I will never know, but I will pretend it was the latter..

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Obama, 'Jackass'???

Ok.. Something stunned me online that I just had to write about.

It is reported that Obama called Kanye West a jackass...

Ok.. 2 things:
1. I lost so much respect for Obama. Who is he to criticize someone? I'm sure Obama did something jackass-ish at least once in his life and if he says he didn't then ... 'You lie'!!! [Just had to throw that in there...lol]
2. Obama is the freaking President. He is supposed to lead by example. Since when is calling someone a jackass acceptable. Would he want his daughters calling someone a jackass? Would he want someone calling his daughters a jackass?

My bad 3 things...
3. Obama is a father. In my opinion, a father should do as he would want his kids to do. Seeing how Obama called Kanye a jackass in public, I can only assume that he, Michelle, and the two girls be jackass-ing all up and through that house.

If you are going to run for President, you should be mindful in the things you say..

In my opinion though.. Someone who calls another person a jackass for something that has nothing to do with them is, indeed, a jackass themselves..

Don't judge unless you live it..

Monday, September 14, 2009

Kanye West

I never thought I would say this but.... I think Kanye West is a stand up guy.

I like how he voices his opinions while not caring what everyone and their momma thought. Yeah, maybe his means of voicing his opinions are not in sync with mine, but nonetheless they are his opinions and he is not afraid of voicing them.

The problem with America, in my opinion, is that everyone is afraid of everyone. No one has the balls to stand up and firmly scream what they believe.

There are, too many to count, blogs slandering Kanye West. Some are calling him arrogant and racist. I call him human. Kanye feels that Beyonce's video 'Single Ladies' is the best out there. However, I don't. Even though I don't agree with him, I admire his guts..

I sort of feel bad for Taylor though. She is a teenage girl who just won a VMA. Her limelight was cut short with Kanye's outburst.

Back to the subject, I don't hate Kanye. He is just a man with a voice.

Honestly, I disagree with much that goes on in this world. Unlike Kanye, I don't have the means to broadcast them.

I would love to be able to say to the world the Medicare and Medicaid should be scrapped. I would love to be able to say to the world that policemen are hypocrites that does not deserve respect. I would love to be able to say to the world that racism is still alive and that there are alot of racists living in Joplin, MO. I would love to be able to say to the world that Louisiana State University (LSU), Blue Bayou, and Silver Cinema 7 [a movie theatre in LaPlace, LA] are ran by racists. I would love to be able to say to the world that Hurricane Katrina showed the priorities of government. I would love to be able to say to the world that I feel that something is wrong with Rihanna and that Beyonce is fake. I would love to be able to say to the world that they was only freaking dogs and that Michael Vick did not deserve what he got. I would love to be able to say to the world that Frankie and Neffe need a whole lot more than a TV show to get their life in order. I would love to be able to say to the world that some white people are freaking corny and kiss butts. I would love to be able to say to the world that some black people only look out for themselves. I would love to be able to say to the world that Leggett and Platt, Inc only hire black people as tokens.

But unfortunately I can't.. I can only write it...

Friday, September 11, 2009

Jon Gosselin is a WIMP!!!

I am getting sick of Jon Gosselin. I just read that he despises his wife for treating him badly and also accused her of stealing his wedding ring.

TO JON: Grow some balls and be a man!!

I mean, really.. This man is whining on national TV. If he didn't like the marriage then he should have left years ago. All of the slandering that he is doing is only making him look like a complete wimp.

To me, he is the 'man' who let his wife walk all over him. Yes, when married the man usually takes his wife's feelings into consideration but dawg gone. He took the consideration a little too far.

He just needs to suck it up and move on with his life. He is already rumored to be dating a woman 10 years his junior. Me, personally, feel that Jon wanted a younger woman cause he couldn't handle a mature one.

Now, I don't know Kate, but she seems to be a woman who knows what she wants. She was always barking out orders and forced suggestions. Jon couldn't handle her. He probably tried spiting out demands as well, but Kate shut that down quick.

I think Jon is best suited with a younger woman. Maybe then he can gain some self-esteem and learn how to be the man that he would want his sons to be cause I'm sure its not a good look slandering their mother on national TV..

Before it is too late......

I just read a question, which was 'Why are so many of our Black People so violent?' I feel that for some it is because of their circumstances. Now and days, more and more African-American men are being locked up for some sort of criminal crime. Many people say 'I blame the parents'. Some say 'I blame the entertainment industry'. Some say 'I blame the lack of role models'. Some say 'I blame the community'. Well me, I don't place the blame on any single individual, group, or organization. I think the blame should be placed on society. Not the black society nor the white society nor the entertainment society, but the whole society.

I think that children learn by example. The smallest toddler picks up on things that mommy, daddy, uncle, aunt, cousin, etc does. Even if the act is not considered wrong, the act is often not explained so the child begins to develop their own reason. Everything that is done in the world now is done because it was done many years ago. A person can only do what they know and they can only know what they have seen.

A murderer, thief, and gang member don't just wake up one day and decide to kill somebody or steal from somebody, or perform some type of criminal act. There were different actions and activities that led up to those things. But because of the lack of observation and communication of the common man, those small acts were ignored. But as soon as those same people who performed those small acts are placed behind bars for killing somebody, or stealing from somebody, or performing a dangerous/criminal act, everyone wants to ask 'Why are so many of our black people so violent?'

I think that every problem in the world can be solved through communication. Take the little boy from around the corner who always steals food from the corner store. People may look at him, think 'There go another gangsta in the making', turn up their noses, and then walk away. That same little boy gets caught at that corner store and move on to another one. But outside that store hangs a more developed group of gangstas. They see the boy, question his actions, then invite him to be one of them claiming that they can help him steal more. That little boy joins the gang then move on to stealing at bigger stores until he is caught by police and sentenced to five years in the Juvenile Detention Center. After those five years, the boy sees no hope so he starts to perform more dangerous acts, but end up in jail serving a life sentence after killing a family of four.

Well, all the people who ever questioned what make blacks so violent, have you ever considered questioning the little boy actions when he was stealing food from the corner store? What if the boy stayed with his grandmother and only wanted to provide for her? What if the boy's father just got laid off and he wanted to help with food? What if the boy's mother and father left him when he was younger so he was out to fend for himself? What if, what if, what if. Everyone looks at the bad that a person does but what about their situation.

So many small children are being locked up because they do not have guidance. True, guidance starts at home. It is the parents responsibility to nurture their child and to raise them with proper morals and values. But what if the parents doesn't have the capabilities to tend to their child 24/7? It is then the neighborhood's job to pick up the slack. Someone in the neighborhood seen that same little boy who robbed the corner store, but they just decided to turn up their noses.

A lot of people blame the media. On TV, they are constantly showing drug dealers, murderers, scandalous women, and other negative personas so some people are saying that kids are copying what they are seeing on TV. That might be true, but if the parents and neighborhors were there to rear the child, the child would see those actions just as they were...actions on TV. I, myself, have seen killing, stealing, and all of the above on TV, but I have never copied any of those acts. And why??? Because I know right from wrong. I know the consequences. I had people around me who didn't just turn up their noses. I had family members and friends who corrected my bad actions when I was a child. If more children knew right from wrong or knew the consequences then more children would see TV for what it really is...TV.

Some parents choose to stop letting their children watch TV but that is only making them handicapped. Just because you cut the TV off that don't mean that the crime will go away. For example, a child grows up without TV, goes through grade and high school as a honor student and role model for the community, and then goes off to college. Well, upon the first few weeks of being out on their own, that same child, now young adult, sees a killer, a drug dealer, or a thief but doesn't know how to comprehend it. After years of being around that type of environment and trying to make an understanding for it, the young adult gets caught up in the hype and soon becomes a killer, a drug dealer, or a thief as well. Blinding a child does not create a perfect life, but knowledge, guidance, and communication can.

But that question mentioned before should not be stated...'Why are so many of our Black People so violent?' but instead 'Why are so many people violent?' Crime knows no color. There are Whites, African-Americans, Latinos, and Asians all in jail for performing criminal acts. Sure by statistics, there are more of one race in jail than others, but that is simply because of their history. Politicians feel that there are more Blacks in jail than any other race, and that could very well be true, but history tells why. It wasn't until recently, 30 -50 years ago, that Blacks were given full rights as citizens. Before then, Blacks were denied practically everything...free will, free speech, free thought, etc. The anger built up from those days is part of the problem.

Also as stated statistically, Blacks are under paid. Because the parents are not able to spend every waking minute with their child, but instead go to work to earn a minimum salary, the families must live in low run-down communities. Those living situations are passed down through generations. So it is that person's history that determines there future.

Every person has a story. Some have a happy ending and some end with a nightmare. If people took the time to listen and not judge their stories, some supposed to be nightmare endings could end up happy.

But 'Why are so many people violent?' Because people never took the time to ask them 'Why?' before it was too late........

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Today is my mom's birthday... 50+ wonderful years.. After 50, she started acting crazy about her constant age increases so I will just keep it at 50+...lol

Hopefully one day I will live to be like the wonderful, sophisicated, strong-minded woman that my mom is..


HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!!!

Presidental Power

Yesterday during Obama's speech for health care reform, a Republican shouted out 'You lie'.

Me, being 26, have heard a lot of lies from Presidents, but I never heard anyone call them on it and yesterday I seen why.

Everyone is hounding Joe Wilson just because he voiced his opinion. There is even talk about him loosing his House seat.

My question is 'What is the freaking big deal?'

So what a man told Obama he lied. Obama is only human. They are treating Obama like he is God. A man thought Obama lied and now that man may lose his job. People act like you must treat the President holier than thou. Obama is just a man so no one should have to bite their tongue just to give Obama the false impression that he have power.

Sure, Obama can say when, where, why, and how much but the man does not have power.. If he would walk up to me acting crazy, I would tell him the same thing I told my husband when he started to act froggy 'What the hell do you want?'. Given, Obama would not play tackle me on sofa and start tickling every bit of laugh out of me, but you get my point. I would treat him no differently than anyone else.

Citizens have been told for years that you must respect people based on their title. A vote does not deem a person respectable. You must earn my respect just like everyone else.

If in a room with Obama and if the moment arises I, too, will scream 'You lie'. True, I may say it with a group of angry Democrats running behind me but that is just a risk I am willing to take..

Friday, September 4, 2009

Music Day

Dang.. Either today is music day or I am just really emotional. While I'm working, I like to listen to music and watch music videos cause it helps me concentrate.. I know, I know. I much concentrating can I be doing if I am writing in my blog, but trust me I am getting alot accomplished today..

I ran across another favorite. Aaron Hall's 'I Miss You'. That used to be my jam back in the day too.. The video is about his wife who died during child birth. Because I just gave birth this video hit home for me.

Only 7 weeks ago, I, too, was in labor. Childbirth is the scariest time in a pregnant woman's life. During my delivery, my baby's heart rate started to drop and I was petrified. I could hear his weak heartbeat pause every few seconds. All I could do was pray. I prayed that God took care of my baby.

It also didn't help that I had to have an oxygen mask on. I don't know why, but any mask screams panic mode to me. I guess it is because those in critical condition and those struggling for their lives are seen wearing them on TV.

My panic reached a record high when my doctor and a couple of nurses ran into the room and informed me that my baby's heart rate was so low that it would not survive a vaginal birth and that they had to prep me for an emergency c-section immediately. At that moment, more panic and fear consumed my body. All the while the doctor was speaking, I, too, was speaking but to God. I prayed for God to protect my baby through the c-section. I prayed for God and his angels to keep my baby in his arms.

All in a matter of minutes, my room was filled with nurses who started prepping my body and administering my epidural dosage. Before the initial panic began, a nurse had to adhere a monitoring device onto my baby to help monitor it's heart rate. Yes, the nurse had to adhere a monitoring device onto my baby who was still in my womb. Let's just say that procedure was not a pleasurable one. Well, fast forward to c-section prep, the nurse had to remove the monitoring device considering how the baby would no longer be exiting the way the monitoring device entered. Long story short, the nurse who adhered the device was not available so another nurse had to do it. The original adhering nurse, as the second nurse said, 'did a real good job putting it on' cause it took the second nurse almost 5 minutes to take the device off. It took everything in my power not to scream at the nurse cause while she was playing, my baby heart rate was steadily dropping and my main concern was his safety. So, of course, those 5 minutes only added to my panic.

Throughout it all though, everything was a success. With God's help, my baby was delivered safely and healthy. Watching that video brought my delivery experience back to light and it made me realize how truly precious life is.

It's amazing how music speaks wonders.

Good Man

OK.. I am soooo late but I just watched RL's 'Good Man' video.

Back in the day, that used to be my song. I used to walk around the house jamming to it while stopping at every mirror to hit my solo. I'm not sure why but when I watched the video today, it brought a tear to my eye.

I guess, it is because I have a 'good man'. My husband is the greatest man in the world. Sure, all times are not perfect, but all the times that we share are memorable. I love him with all my heart. While watching the video, I imagined my husband in RL's place because my husband had said those same words to me many times before.

Love is a magical thing. It just makes you want to smile. To know you have someone there that loves you unconditionally is a good feeling.

This video goes out to my 'Good Man'....

Thursday, September 3, 2009

President in School

I have been hearing and reading a lot of things regarding the President's planned speech for Sept 8th. Honestly, I don't know what the big deal is.

If I understand correctly, the President is simply telling children to stay in school, work hard, and be successful. Many educators have a problem because a lesson plan is also included. The lesson plan asks students to think about what the President is saying and to figure out what the President is asking them to do.

Many parents are outrage because the President is telling their children what to do. They actually have a problem with the President telling their children to do good in school..

I am big on education. In fact, my son is only 7 weeks old and I have already started researching schools in the area, but that is another blog. I want my child to do good.

Children relate to those that they idolize. If a child loves the President, then of course, they would want to do what the President says. True, parents must watch what is told to their children but really people....why complain if the President is trying to help the future.

I, for one, believe that an education help makes a person successful. A person chances of getting a good job is greater with a degree. So, if children are told at a young age to do good then they will be motivated to excel in grade school, apply for scholarships, thus attend college thus opening job opportunities..

Personally, I feel that people are outrage just to stick it to the President. Many still dislike him, so, of course, they will go against him.

It is just a shame that people are willing to sabotage their children just to spite the President.

Hot Ghetto Mess

Frankie and Neffe -- Need I say more???


OK.. I've been watching their show; mostly online during my lunch break cause my time at home is filled with more important stuff. Well, the last episode I seen is when the life coach went to their houses..

I was amazed at Neffe. She have 6 children and was actually letting her children sit on the floor to eat. Now, when they first showed her kitchen, my first instinct was 'Man, that's a large kitchen. Wait.. Where's the table?'. But it never occurred to me that they was eating off the floor.

Then, Neffe started talking about how the people who stayed there before here must have been short cause the light is so low. At first, cause they really didn't show the light location, I was like 'Oh, maybe, they are Chinese'...lol But then the life coach put me in a DUH moment. Duh, a dining room table is supposed to be there. I wonder what Neffe thought was supposed to fill that space.

I tripped out when she asked her children if they wanted to stop eating off the floor. Now, OK.. I can see siting on some chairs until your furniture arrives, but come on, Nef.. I mean, really. Who knows how long they been in that house for and the lady still doesn't have furniture..

It trips me out cause Neffe tries to act all classy, but homegirl got her children eating off the floor permanently...

And that fridge.. All I can do is shake me head....

I'm out!!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Big Brother

I USED to be a Big Brother fan. Over the years, my interest in the show has decreased SIGNIFICANTLY!!!

As I looked over the contestants line-up over the past few while being a fan I started to notice a trend: There is only one black person on every season.

You mean to tell me that of the millions of black people in the world only one is interested in Big Brother or picked for Big Brother. After watching the first season, I wanted to be part of it. I went on the website, downloaded the application, but didn't submit it cause I didn't have time to fill out the 30 pages. Even though I didn't apply, I had interest and I'm sure more than two black people had interest in the show.

This entry is not about racial discrimination but simply my observation.

Big Brother is not the only show with minimum Blacks. It amazes me how little Black America is shown in the media.

Another day, another conspiracy.. I guess...

Monday, July 13, 2009

Jayden's BIRTH DAY

WHOO HOOO!!!

Mark your calendars!!! Today is Jayden's BIRTH DAY!!!

Motherhood begins.. AND I'M READY!!!!!

Saturday, July 11, 2009

How would a person know if they were REALLY gay or a lesbian??

Well its 5 in the morning and I can't sleep. My husband is still in the bed sleeping, so I decided to go in the living a watch a movie.

I'm a member of Blockbuster Online so every once in a while I pick movies that never went to the theatres and are practically unheard of. My latest pick is this movie called 'After Sex'. It follows 6 couples and their relationships as it centers around sex.

One scene showed two guys just finishing have sex. One of those guys recently came out and the other just experienced his first time with a male and began questioning his sexuality. Then the question arose in my mind....

"How would you know if you are really gay?"

Take sex, instance. Does a female letting another female go down on her makes her gay? What if that female had her eyes closed and was simply enjoying the moment?

Sex is simply, in my opinion, a feeling of sensation. Because you have sex with a person of same sex, does that automatically make you gay? Just because you enjoy sex and the person who is administering it is the same sex does that make you gay?

Just speaking real, in my past, I have had sex with men who I had no feelings for. It was simply sex; nothing more, nothing less. Would it be different if one of those men was female? Would I be gay then? I had no feelings for them and the experience was just a feeling of sensation.

Basically is being gay the love to have sex with the same sex or is being gay the feelings shared between two people of the same sex?

What if a female loves to have sex with a particular female just because that particular female makes her feel her best? It have nothing to do with that female's sexuality but, more so, with her desire to be pleased. What if that same female was in love with a male but the sensation received from that particular female is better than from the male that she loves? Is she a lesbian although she is in love with a male and just so happens loves when a particular female pleases her?

So the question still stands.... How would a person know if they are really gay?

Friday, July 10, 2009

Mistakes...

Everyone makes mistakes..

Most mistakes are usually self-inflicted.

Should mistakes be regretted? Should a person sulk because of a past mistake?

A mistake is an action made by a person. A mistake is only a mistake if the resulting outcome from that action have a negative effect. Since that mistake was intentionally done by a person can it be regretted just because it didn't produce positive results? Just because things didn't turn out right, can a person just regret them? Can mistakes even be regretted?

True, mistakes are unwanted. They sometimes causes pain or even causes someone to go without.

Is it fair to regret a mistake just because the results are not pleasurable?

Should mistakes be seen as a learning situation? Rather than sulking, should a person analyze their mistake, understand why they made that mistake, and then figure out a plan to correct the mistake or at least make the situation better?

Even though mistakes are self-inflicted, is it easy for a person to just see it as a learning situation and move on? Even though a mistake is one's own fault, is it easy to just figure out a plan to correct the mistake?

No one likes mistakes. Mistakes shine light in one's life making all negative visible. Mistakes brings most badness to light and also create obstacles and barriers.

No one want to admit to a self-inflicted mistake because admitting to that means admitting to being the cause of the current badness in their life.

So can a mistake even be regretted? Can one actually regret their own doings? Is it even fair to regret something just because the results was not as expected?

Life brings many loops and turns. Some actions causes a loop that leads to a positive, easy road and some actions causes a loop that leads to a negative, rough road. Just because the road is not positive and easy is it fair to call that action a mistake? Similarly, it is right to accept and be happy with an action just because it leads to the positive and easy road. Should all actions be thought of as equal?

Once an action is done, should the resulting road not matter? Before all actions, should a person be content with that action thus forcing them to be content with the result?

Should every action be a learning situation? Regardless of the outcome, should an action solely be defined as a teaching tool making the resulting outcome simply noted as the lesson learned?

Everyone makes mistakes. The way that mistake is viewed determines the next step. That mistake can either be seen as a result from a lesson or as the effect of an action.

Either way, a person's mindset controls their life.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Marriage --

Life is SOOO funny...

From one action, many things happen. No one have control over anything that will happen. No one can say, 'Positive come forth' and expect only positive to come.

From the moment of saying 'I Do', two people's lives are changed forever. Neither of those people know what to expect. All the planning and talking in the world will not force a happy marriage.

The saying of 'I do' in marriage can be viewed the same as making any important decision in life. That decision will change a person's life. Since the outcome of that decision is not known, a person should be content with that decision thus forcing them to be content with the future outcome.

Marriage is what you make of it; not what you expect from it. Going into a marriage with assumptions and expectations will only cause failure.

No one knows for sure what will happen tomorrow. A person can only live for today. Make today the best and hope that tomorrow will follow in the same pattern..

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Michael Jackson BKA 'Daddy'

Ever since June 25th, the media have circled around Michael Jackson's death. Since then, I have read many articles and seen many news stories and documentaries surrounding his life. It wasn't until just now that I became touched.

I just finished reading an article on Yahoo! News about when Michael's daughter, Paris, spoke. It was very heartfelt and touching. Even though, I didn't watch the memorial service this article and the clip that accompanied it left me with a wonderful feeling.

The article is linked below....

Working People Need Love Too....

My baby will be due tomorrow... [*deep breath and sigh of relief*] Well not due but HOPE to be due. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and that visit will determine if I am admitted to the hospital immediately or sent home to suffer some more.

Anyways.. Long story short, me and my husband have to pay a $2.5k deposit BEFORE I can be admitted to the hospital. Making a longer story short, I may be admitted tomorrow and $2.5k is $2k over our admittance budget.

We tried every avenue to avoid going into our 'emergency' stash. The patient financial lady at the hospital mentioned Medicaid. Although, I know I have never been and mostly probably will never be eligible for government assistance, we gave it a try anyways. Especially since at the moment my husband is 'between jobs'.. [the nice way of saying unemployed...lol] and we have a new baby so my old family jumped from 1 to 3.

Anywhoo, as expected, I am ineligible. That one lil sentence leads me to my current rant.... Working people need love to.....

Government assistance programs are only out to help those who can't and sometimes won't help themselves. For a family of three, the combined income can't be more than $3k a month. It is impossible for 3 people to survive on $3k a month. It is impossible for anyone to survive on government standards

In this world, there are people who are busting out babies and have no jobs, but yet get free food, health care, money, and a place to stay. While people who are working hard are struggling.

I had to do jury duty about three months ago and there was this lady there who was one of the potential jurors who said that she had 3 children. She was then asked about her employment and replied with 'I am unemployed'. I was like 'my point'. Now, I am not talking bad about people who just hit a rock in the road and was laid off unexpectedly. This lady was no older than 25. The Counsel for the State cracked a joke about it but the lady didn't find it funny.

I called the Social Security Office yesterday and asked 'Are there any assistance programs available whose sole purpose is not to reward the poor?'. Of course, she got an attitude.

My philosophy in life is.. 'If one can, then all can'. I don't like hearing stories about 'because of childhood circumstances' or 'because of a deadbeat baby daddy' or 'because my parents wasn't there' and blah blah blah. Those stories are a dime a dozen and happens to thousands. If one in that thousand can, then all in that thousand can. Someone who tells those stories are simply making excuses.

There are people in this world who are working hard and trying to provide for themselves. Those same people can't catch a break cause as I speak the price of milk, bread, and other food items are rising. The price of gas is rising. The price to rent an apartment is rising. The interest rates on credit cards are rising. And, unfortunately, the unemployment rate is rising. Working families are struggling while those who just sits on there butts are getting a free ride.

I have a 'fake' dream to be President. I say 'fake' because it will never happen solely because of my platform. If I was President I would get rid of the current government assistance program. I would create a program that will assist all and not just the low class.

In my program:
  • No assistance will just be given away. To gain assistance, the citizen must also provide. Meaning, first off, to get any assistance the citizen must have a job. That citizen will be granted assistance based on their income. Obviously, those making little will get a little more but their sole income will not be government assistance. For example: Those in the $25k yearly income bracket or less will be matched 75% of their income. Those in the $26k to $35k yearly income bracket will be matched 45% of their income. Those in the $36k to $45k yearly income bracket will be matched 15% of their income. Those in the $46k to $55k yearly income bracket will be matched 5% of their income. Those in the $56k to $60k yearly income bracket will be matched 4% of their income. Those in the $61k to $75k yearly income bracket will be matched 1% of their income bracket. The cut off is $75k a year.
  • Citizens will not get multiple benefits. From the above stipulation, citizens will get one check dispersed to them reflecting a month's worth of benefits. So for example, those in the $25k yearly income bracket will receive a check for $1562 a month. That check can be used to assist with food, medical expenses, housing arrangements, etc.
  • No one will be given free health care. There will be many levels of health care. Like the current system, there will be government and private insurers. The minimum health coverage available will consist of a low number of pre-selected providers and hospitals and minimum medical options available. The minimum coverage available would be priced between $5 to $25 a month. There will also be co-pays. The maximum health coverage available will consist of a wide range of providers and health providers and hospitals and more medical options will be available. The maximum health coverage would be priced between $125 to $200 a month. There will be many health coverages available between the min and max coverage with varying price ranges. So, the philosophy will basically be 'you get what you pay for'.
  • Taxes would be handled with the same scheme as government assistance. It will be percentage based. All citizens regardless of their income bracket must pay the same percentage of income taxes. Those in lower income brackets must not get special treatment because they are breathing the same air and riding on the same roads as those in higher income brackets.
  • There will be job assistance programs that will assist the unemployed and there will also be community centers that provide free training in all career aspects.

Those are just some of the provisions that I would include in my platform. Basically if everyone should be treated equal based on the color of their skin then everyone should be treated equal based on the amounts in their checking accounts.

Working people need love too... cause this world is rough...

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Charm School??

Good Morning.. I am a reality TV addict...

I must admit I watch reality TV shows constantly. In fact, they are probably the only thing on TV right now that is decent to watch. Last night I watched 'Charm School'; that show on VH1 hosted by Ricki Lake also starring Lala and some dude. Well, I am starting to get turned off from it...

I honestly don't even know what their meaning of 'Charm' is. I watched other 'personality type' shows like 'From G's to Gents' and I understood their point of view and their objective but Charm School is on a whole other level. On 'G's', the men was reward for their good deeds and those who was not representing a G was sent home. However, on Charm School it seems that those are are representing Charm are sent home and those with no hope and is probably acting for the $100k stays to ensure more schooling. However, I can somewhat see their point. Stay in school and learn more and once acquired all skills bounce. BUT taking that approach should also eliminate the need for the $100k prize. If the goal is to stay there to learn then the winner should be rewarded with Charm.

To me Charm School is a joke. There who reason for keeping unCharmed girls is because they still have learning to do. Well, to me, if they still have learning to do after all of this time then they obviously are not learning. The girls who are learning should be kept so they could learn some more and the one who have learned the most and proved to be the most Charmed should be granted the prize of $100k.

But thinking about it though, Charm School started off keeping the Charmed girls and getting rid of the unCharmed. I guess somewhere along the way, the Charm got lost..

Charm School need to be revamped quickly cause most of the girls left are a waste of TV time and honestly none of them deserve the money.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

The Media Effect

I'm an Internet guru. Not one day passes in which I haven't [a] checked my email, [b] browsed current events, [c] researched something seen or heard, or [d] just played around online.

Most of that have to do with the point that I am on the computer Monday-Friday from 8:00 AM to 4:30 PM and occasionally on the weekends.

Since Thursday [June 25th] the Internet have been filled with either Michael Jackson's news stories, tributes, or slander. With all that I read about Michael in the past few days, I probably know more about his personal life than my own left hand...lol The media is covering every angle of Michael's life from his children to his estate to his funeral arrangements to his family. Everyone is coming out of the parks to talk about their history with Michael. There have been some that haven't talked to Michael in over 7 years but still had something to say. Reports of secret marriages, non-biological children, lawsuits, and drug addictions are surfacing. Every aspect of Michael's past life is now up for grabs and the media [and some others after his cash] is digging..

Just the vibe of the last week tells a little about the effect the media have on a person. Michael Jackson is [or was] only human. He faced the same insecurities, problems, depression, and crisis that non-celebrities faced. The only difference is that Michael had the voice and the moves but even with all of that he is only human. The media dugged in his life so hard. They stretched and pulled every insignificant speck of his life and turned it into headline news.

I believe Michael was the victim of *duh, duh, duuhhhh* The Media Effect. It is now being reported that Michael abused painkillers and sedatives. Both of which he used to shield himself from the media. The media have tormented Michael his whole career and even went as far as to coin the phrase 'Wacko Jacko'. Like I said earlier Michael was only human. He felt pain just like the rest of us.

The media is a terrible attribute in today's society. They will twist anything just to get a good story. There is a website called MediaTakeOut.com and they are always telling lies. In fact, they sometimes make up stories just to be popular. That website remains me of the unpopular nerdy kid in school whose only wish was to fit in with the 'cool' kids. The media does not care who they hurt or effect. Their only purpose is to be cool. They will do anything to appear cool, even if it means making up a story or bending the truth a little just to fit in. The media hurts others just to make themselves look better. The media knows that breaking a story, or even a made-up story, would give them credibility. It will make their show or site popular thus increasing their revenue.

The media have figured out that in order to succeed and be prosperous, you must hurt the next one at all costs. Unfortunately, society, particularly celebrities, must beware of the *duh, duh, duuhhh* The MEDIA EFFECT!!!

Monday, June 29, 2009

16 and Pregnant

Yesterday, I was home alone so I started flipping through the TV channels. While flipping, I ran across a girl in a hospital bed. My first instinct was to keep flipping until I heard her say the word 'contractions'. Because I am 9 months pregnant, I was interested.


Come to find out, I had stopped on a show on MTV called '16 and Pregnant'.


Since I would be in the same position as that girl, I was watching and taking mental notes. The most interesting of the show was when the nurse came in to adminster the epiderual. I sat up, turned the TV volume up louder, and watched in awe as the lady got the needle ready. I have been told many stories about the epiderual so I wanted the facts. 'If you move, the needle might slip and you will become paralyzed', 'The needle is about a foot long', and many others.. Unfornately, that show didn't educate me at all. I started leaning over in the bed hoping that my will to see the girl's back would magically adjust the view of the camera man, but nothing.


They showed the girl bracing herself as the nurse did her thing, then they showed the nurse injecting 'something' into the already stuck needed, and then they showed the nurse walking away saying 'All done'. I was greatly disappointed. Now I will have to search for epideral videos cause I am the type of person who needs to know in advance. I need to see screaming so I can make my own judgement on the pain and I also need complete details so I can know what to expect.


But I am not here to talk about my lack of epideral knowledge. I am here to talk about '16 and Pregnant'. I am completely disgusted with that show. MTV have a show that shows 16 year old babies giving birth to babies. What is amazing is that there are so many 16 year olds who are pregnant. It is as if it is a new trend.


Before little girls used to grow up anticipating their 16th birthday for the sweetness it entials but now, thanks to MTV, they are gowing up anticipating thier labor. That show gives girls the impression that it is cool to be pregnant at 16.


Friday, June 26, 2009

R.I.P. Michael Jackson

Yesterday was my brother's birthday so my mom had a lil get-to-gether at the house for him. As usual, as soon as me and my husband walked in everyone was like 'hey' with big smiles but something was different. We walked through the living room and then around the corner to the kitchen where everyone was. As soon as we hit the kitchen, I heard my mom say Micheal Jackson died. My response was "Micheal Jackson, who?" She then asked "You don't know who Michael Jackson is?" I was in complete awe and shock. It was not that I didn't know who Michael was. It was that I didn't expect it. It all happened so suddenly.

Today at work, I started watching some of Mike's old videos. My all time favorite is "Remember the Time". I remember dancing in the mirror to that video regularly. I love that song. Even on a bad day all I had to hear was "Do you remember, *breathe*" and a smile suddenly hit my face.

I would not call myself a die-hard Mike fan, but I enjoy his music. He have so many hits. A few of my other favorites include 'Who's Loving You', 'You Are Not Alone', 'Scream', and the list goes on.

When I heard the news of his passing, my mind immediately went to his family and close friends. I can only imagine the pain that one feels after losing someone so dear.

Even though Michael has been dragged through the mud, he have a kind soul and will leave his legacy.

I was always pro-Michael. I felt that he was simply misunderstood. The media exploited his childish behavior and used it to destroy his career and good name. Michael Jackson didn't have a normal childhood. At the young age of 4, he started singing with his older brothers. All his life, he sung. He didn't have the chance to play or enjoy life like other little children. Instead he was in the studio making music. Because of his fame, he was also sheltered from other children his age. His father's discipline methods also didn't make childhood easy for Michael. Once he gained control of his life, he decided to do what he didn't have a chance to do... Be a child. He built Neverland Ranch and surrounded himself with things that children would do anything for. However, I did feel that maybe Michael could have talked to someone about his non-present childhood and then that person could have explained the lines between childhood and adulthood, but it is all in the past now.

Michael is in a better place. He is in a place where the media can no longer criticize him for living his life as he saw fit.

Yes, Michael could have been the poster child for plastic surgery, but he is not the first one to dwell in it and he won't be the last.

Everyone have a story and it is not the media's job to try to explain it or publicize it.

My prayers goes out to Michael's family and friends. He will truly be missed, but his music and legacy will live on in every one's heart forever..

Rest In Peace, Michael Jackson.

May God continue to be with you and your family.

God Bless!!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Married Life

It has been approximately 16 days, 22 hours, and 55 minutes since I said 'I do'.. Let me tell you, married life is rough..

Currently, me and my husband are going through some major financial problems. I guess it is good that we are going through this now because once we make it through this we could make it through anything. As of now, divorce is no where in the horizon. It is not even an option so we are fighting through these trying times. Yes, it does it tense in our home but we are surviving..

I just read an article about how Usher is filing for divorce from his wife. Then as soon as my eyes reached the end of that article, approximately ten articles about Jon and Kate entered my peripheral.

When I think of celebrity marriages a few words come to mind; mainly joke, crock, waste of time, shameful and belittling. When most celebrities get married, it is done for entertainment purposes.

Take Usher for example... His CD before last was entitled 'Confessions'. It talked about how he was in love with a woman, but recently found out that he impregnated another woman. Because of that, he could not be with the woman he loved but instead he had to be with the woman he married. At the time the CD came out, Usher was involved with Chili, from TLC. It later came out that him and his publicist [or whoever she was] was no involved and she was expecting a child. Coincidence?? I think NOT!!!! Now as it turns out, Usher and Tameka have been living separately for a year and Usher has filed for divorce. To me, Usher's love life is simply for publicity. The value of marriage has been belittled by entertainment..

During the vows it says 'Until death does us part'. It does not say 'until we lose interest in you'. It does not say 'until the next CD come out'. It does not say 'until something better come along'. It does not say 'until I get bored with you'. It says 'Until death does us part'.

Marriage is not something to play with. It should not be taken lightly.

And now Jon and Kate's mess is filling up the airwaves and news sources. Everywhere you turn their is a story about them. It is quite sickening. First, Jon had an affair. Then Kate had an affair. Now, Kate is not a good mother but instead consumed in the Hollywood limelight. Next, Jon is the victim cause he had his manhood taken from him from his overbearing wife.

I'm not sure if the media is an advocate for divorce but something is going on. Honestly, if one would look at marriage from a celebrity standpoint then marriage makes no sense. Marriage would be a waste of time.

I love my husband with all of my heart.. I guess in real-life it is different. Marriage takes on a whole other meaning than the one celebrities give. In real-life, it is not just something to do.

I know first hand marriage is hard. Soot, marriage is really really really hard... BUT I also know that marriage take fight from both parties and it should not be thought of simply to sell CDs.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Present-Day Society

OK. So I am still watching 'I'm A Celebrity: Get me out of here'.. I really need to stop though cause I feel my blood pressure rising with each passing celebrity.

As usual, Spencer and Heidi is still getting on my nerves. Spencer is like a 5 year old boy with WAY too much facial hair and Heidi is a dumb blond; literally. I really hope reality TV works out for her cause I honestly don't see any real career ahead of her. Well, nah, unless you count stripping, then.. BRING IN THE MONEY...lol

Enough about them.. I noticed something watching that show that is also evident in the present-day society; Citizens have no community values.

Ok.. Here is the story.. Spencer took Torrie's bag and played hide and go seek with it. [5 year old] The other cast members basically sat there and let him do it. Yeah you heard the 'I wouldn't do that, bro' but no one stood up and did anything. Since Torrie was no where around someone could have stood up for her. After all, I am sure that no one would want their bag hidden. When Torrie returned, she found out that John [don't know his last name, but the tall basketball dude] told the Fran of Frangela [from the Best Week Ever] that Spencer hid Torrie's bag. Why he didn't tell Torrie when she returned, I don't know.. Now I don't know if they helped Torrie look for her bag or not cause I paused it to write this blog, but I will soon find out..

Anyways.. Citizens, humans, people or whatever you want to call them have a habit of letting stuff be done. People would just stand around and watch a person do bad to an innocent victim instead of defending the non-present victim. I am not sure why but people are cowards. Why don't people place themselves in situations? I am sure that no one would want their bag hidden so why allow someone else bag to be hidden? Why sit back and let bad stuff be done to people? There was about 5 other people standing around that could have stopped Spencer, but no one moved. Instead they just all looked like 'Glad it wasn't me'.

That is the problem with society today. So many people just stand around and 'watch'. People sit back and watch children steal. People sit back and watch children kill. People sit back and watch children be tormented. People sit back and watch people get raped. And every one's number one response is 'It's none of my business'. I bet it would be your business if your stuff got stolen or if your close family member got killed or raped or if your child got tormented. People are quick to say it is not their business but then get mad when it is said about their situation.

If more people took a stand and defended victims and tried to persuade evil-doers to do good, this world might just be different. But the crime rates are steadily rising.

Maybe one day people will start looking out for other people but I guess for now as long as it is not you.. 'It is none of your business'...

What the freaking H$LL??

Okay.. So I'm at work. I woke up with these bad chest pains and I am having a lil trouble breathing so, of course, I am having trouble concentrating on work. All morning, I have just been staring at the computer screen watching different shows on hulu.com.

I watched 'The Fashion Show' first. I sort of like that show. I like the idea of buying the winner's design after each show. However, I wish you could buy any design cause on the show I watch Reco designed this cute high-waisted skirt with matching vest and red ruffle shirt. It is to die for. Yeah, you cn pretty much find a high-waisted skirt everywhere, but his was so adorable. Instead, Daniella's design won. It was a navy/black dress with some type of jacket; not my style..

Anywhoo.. Now I am watching this show called 'I'm a Celebrity: Get me out of here'. I never really heard of that show and, to my surprise, it have came on everyday this week so I was totally in the dark. It is starring z-list celebrities as they live in the jungle for 3 weeks while raising money for charity..

Side Note: I am a BIG nature freak so, of course, when they show first came on I started thinking about a vacation I could take in the jungle. I don't have a travel agent, but in the near future [well, not too near.. I have to push this baby out first] I will contact one about booking a trip to some jungle or forest or something. I always wanted to visit the Outback or a rain forest in South America.

Anywhoo. My reason for writing is Spencer and Heidi Pratt. Who the hell do they think they are? I am not an MTV watcher so I never seen an episode of 'The Hills' in my life. Quite frankly, watching a bunch of white people act a fool is not my choice of entertainment. But yeah, after half of day in the jungle those too 'wanna-be' celebrities started complaining and decided to quit. Spencer called some guy from NBC on the phone and started talking about how celebrities should be treated. He went on and on about how he is this big time celebrity and how he should be treated as such. He also said how he will not clean up after anyone cause he is this big-time celebrity. Then he went on to say how he is there with a bunch of nobodies and how he thought real celebrities was going to be there.

EARTH TO SPENCER: YOU ARE A NOBODY....

Him saying that sort of pissed me off. Here he is, some stuck up white boy with no clue and no fame who lucked up on being on a reality show. Him and his wife was always in the news cause of their marriage or something.. BIG DEAL. Those two need a reality check big time. They think that they are somebody cause they was on a reality show.

Now, given, I am usually not mean or disrespectful to reality stars or people who lucked up on fame but this dude was talking like he created the earth. He had the audacity to declare himself a 'real' celebrity and demanded the he be treated as such because of his self-proclaimed title.

I'm done ranting.. I just had to pour out my two cents about those fools..

From my knowledge, the show comes on every Monday through Thursday live on NBC. I don't know the exact time is comes on but I'm guessing sometime during prime time..

Deuces..

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Love Fulfilled -- PART 1

Well, well, well... Where to begin?? Well to start.. I'M MARRIED!!! WHOA!!!!!

It took A LOT of soul searching and self-rebuilding to get to this point, but I made it.. I must admit the road was not a smooth one. I went through my share of men. I did some wrong, some did me wrong, and in some we both did wrong..

I have been cheated on in the past. I have been cheated on by men that I thought I loved. I have been cheated on by men that I thought loved me. I remembered my very first boyfriend. [I think] I was a senior in high school. [Yea, I was a lil shy back then and me approaching boys was not my main agenda so I sort of pushed that part on the back burner. Don't get me wrong, I used to talk to guys but it was nothing 'high school' serious and my main concern was my studies]

Anywho... Well actually my first boyfriend is a blur. I guess that is why my love life to follow was such a mess. My first boyfriend is a toss between 4 guys. [I know, bad] One I met at a parade and, at this moment, I don't remember his name. The other was a guy from my church. The other was a guy from school and the other was my cousin's cousin [through marriage].

Thinking hard, I think the guy from church was my first boyfriend [I was a junior in high school at the time] BUT I don't even think the word boyfriend or girlfriend was used. Maybe just a coincidence, but he cheated on me. That relationship was so jacked up. We was both shy so the relationship was basically forced by others from church and our convo while in the relationship was also forced. Some days we would see each other at church and not speak to each other, solely out of shyness. Anyways, my best friend came to me one day [or maybe called.. I don't remember. It was about 11 years ago] and told me that she seen my 'boyfriend' walking with a white chick and she was wearing his jacket and chain. At that time, wearing a mate's clothing was 'the thing'. So I was basically like whatever.. [Thinking about it, in all of my relationships I was like whatever] But I called him the next day and asked him about it. Of course he lied but I ended it anyways..

I also realized that I was not much for relationships anyways.. Probably throughout my whole dating career, I always had a back up plan. Or at least that is what I called it. Even when I had a boyfriend, when asked I said I didn't.

But anyways, while with the boy from church, me and my family went to the Zulu, Rex, and Truck parade. [They are parades that passes on Mardi Gras morning in New Orleans] I met a dude [the one who name I can't remember] and when asked I told him I didn't have a boyfriend. We talked on the phone for a while cause he lived like an hour away. Well, come to find out, the boy from the parade and the boy from my church were cousins. [Yeah they had the same last name, but Hayes is a common last name] Anyways, the boy from the parade confronted me, I lied and we parted. [Or at least I thought he did. The parade boy used to call me every year around the same time trying to spark a relationship again. It aggravated so much cause the last thing I want is a clinging male. So I changed my number] Thinking about it, the boy from church never mentioned it, I guess because he was so shy or because he was doing his own dirt. I don't remember if the parade boy used boyfriend/girlfriend or not either.

The next two boys came around the same time; the boy from school and my cousin's cousin. I seen my cousin's cousin at a parade about 2 years before then and the boy was FINE!!! He was the cutest thing I ever seen up to that point. Well since he was my cousin's cousin, I told her how I thought he was cute and she set up a meet for us. We met, he thought I was cute too, and we started talking. We communicated for a long time [in high school years] from April to January of the next year. That was during the end of my senior year cause in May I graduated. He said he loved me and I really felt that he did. [Or at least in a high school way anyways] I also had strong feelings for him too [Or so I thought] We broke up in January cause I was a freshman in college and he was a senior in high school [two TOTALLY different levels...lol]

I remember the day we broke up like yesterday. I was still off for winter break and my cousin [his cousin] was staying over until her school started back [she was also still in high school]. It was the first day that he returned back to school and around 9AM [I was still sleep] the house phone rung. My cousin answered cause it was closer to her and within seconds passed the phone to me. My then-boyfriend told me how he found out that I was talking to another boy while off for college. [The boy from college was from the same town as my then-boyfriend.. I sure knew how to pick them...lol] Come to find out, the boy from college lil cousin was telling everyone at school how me and the boy from college was talking and, of course, my then-boyfriend was amidst the convo. The relationship didn't officially end that morning, but it did that night. Right after we hung up the phone, I had to run to the bathroom to throw up. I remember thinking at the time how it was just like the movies. When something bad would happen the person would throw up cause the emotions messed up their stomach. So when I threw up I was thinking that it was either a scene out of the movies or the stale Chinese rice I ate the night before. Later that night after he got home from school, he called. We talked about everything and broke up. I felt so bad because he cried.. [and also because I cared for him] I know because his lil brother walked in the room while we was on the phone and started asking what was wrong and why he was crying. He pushed his lil brother out the room so fast. That was the first boy I ever made cry. [It's sad to say my first... but hey] Our relationship didn't end there. For the next 3 years, we tried a relationship again numerous times, but each time lasted no longer than a month or two. One time it only lasted for 3 days...lol Oh, this relationship fall out was not totally my fault.. Sometime in the summer, my best friend [AGAIN.. She is always telling me the dirt] told me how she heard that my then-boyfriend was trying to get back with his ex. I confronted him, he lied [well maybe.. I am still not sure to this day.] but we stayed together.

That boy from school [high school] came in May. We started talking the beginning of May, he took me to prom then right after we broke up. The way we broke up was so cruel. He was the sweetest boy but there was nothing there for me... He used to walk me to every class everyday. Well, while walking me to my last class for the day [since I was a senior my last class ended at noon] I gave him a note that I wrote the night before. I told him don't read it until he gets to class. The note basically said 'you are a nice person, but I don't like you and don't want to be with you either.' [I know.. harsh.. I was a lil b!tch back then]

It is no surprise every relationship thereafter was so horrible cause karma hit me like a baseball bat. But I can't blame anyone but myself. It is just a shame to start cheating straight out the bag. And I really didn't have a reason to cheat.. I did it 'just cause'...

TO BE CONTINUED...

Whoa..

I just came on here to write what was on my mind when I noticed that the last time I wrote was in April and it is now June.. I have really been neglecting my blog.

It is my dream to become a published author and I know it takes steps.. One of those steps is to gain readership. To do that, I MUST update my blog semi-daily and I must advertise, advertise... ADVERTISE...

I can't make any promises right now, but I will try to update this thing as frequently as possible.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

WHY MARRIAGE?

No one can explain
The heartfelt joy it contains

The joy of love
The joy of friendship
The joy of comfort
The joy of marriage

A one in a million chance,
Someone can hold
To find that special someone
That reveals all life’s gold

Someone so lovely
Nothing else compares
One who brings sunshine to rain
And goes where no one else can dare

No one can explain
The power that it brings

The power of bonding
The power of combined affection
The power of everlasting unity
The power of marriage

Only ordained by God
Can something so wonderful exist
A bond between a man and a woman
That no divided soul can resist

No one can explain
Why marriage is so captivating

But from this day forth
As these two become one

Upon the saying of ‘I Do’,
the joy and power has only begun.



This was just a lil something I wrote to be read during my wedding ceremony...

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Man.... How time flies..

I was just reading some of my past blogs and I am a trip...lol I couldn't help laughing at my dialogue and activities.. It made me sit back and think.. Time sure do change things...

All of my blogs back in 2007 was so animated.

Well now that I am 25, I can reflect on my 23-24 year old days.. ...

**reflecting**. Um.. *still reflecting*.. It's basically the same.. Well, nah, not basically the same since I have a soon-to-be husband and a soon-to be new baby.. YAY!!!

My soon-to-be son's name is Jayden.. He played me to the left last night.... I was laying down in bed and for some reason [I can't really remember why] I felt the urge to get up. So I sort of sat up, but in the midst I looked down and seen the craziest looking hump in my stomach.. I screamed so loud 'Oh, no.. I got a hump!!'

I was so scared, I just froze. I didn't want to move cause I didn't want the hump to attack the baby or anything and I was once told that stretching could cause the umbilical cord to wrap around the baby's neck so I didn't want to make any sudden moves.. I didn't know what to do, I never seen that hump before.. It looked like a sideways camel hump in the middle of my stomach. I mentioned it to my fiance, but he didn't seem to pay me any mind.. He had the nerve to ask me 'if I'm sure it wasn't his hand or something'.. I felt insulted.. I 'know' what a hand is... And that wasn't a hand..

So then I called my mom.. She started acting crazy with me too. Talking about 'do I know what I have in my stomach'.. Duh... a baby.. But I never seen that hump before.. So now to everyone.. I was the crazy one..

My fiance tried calming me down but by that time I started to panic because I realized I haven't felt my little one move in the last 4 hours.. I refused to lay down again, from fear of reproducing the hump, so I just walked around aimlessly. After about 10 minutes of craziness, I noticed another hump in my stomach and once again started screaming 'Oh, no.. Another hump'. By that time no one was paying me any mind, so I was basically screaming to myself..

It wasn't until 5 minutes after that that I realized that that crazy looking hump was my baby... I'm not too sure, but I could have sworn I heard Jayden laughing at me from inside the womb...

So I guess it begins.. 'Time to make mommy look crazy'.. I was sort of preparing myself for it once he was born because I know how babies do but I just didn't think that those lil suckers started plotting from the womb..

Now I will have to be my toes...

On.. Fatherless Homes and the N-Word...

I was doing some 'spring' cleaning in my inbox and I ran across this post I commented on a while ago.. It was on fatherless homes and the n-word...

Read on:

Posted Oct. 25, 2007
Really, the n-word is a form of disrespect. It was generated as a means to talk-down to blacks and to show them as inferior. It just so happens that the youth today have no proper guidance and somehow they have been brainwashed to think that that word is 'just a general saying'. The problem is not the 'others' saying the the n-word, but blacks saying the n-word.True, I feel the media's attention is missed focused. Although, gaining the respects of Blacks is highly important, the way they are going by it is belittling the matter. Fatherless homes is a big issue, but since it is becoming more and more common, it is being ignored. It is no longer something that people feel they should go against, but it is something that people feel they might ultimately become. Faherless homes is one of the main causes of all the black crime in the world, but because blacks doesn't see the harm they really pay it no mind.Although, I grew up in a fathered home and I feel that everyone should, many just see it as a lifestyle.

Posted April 8,2009
My mindset on fatherless homes has semi changed since then... I feel that women are also to blame for the rising number of fatherless homes.. Alot of females are having children by men without a commitment first. Women are lowering their standards and are now allowing lil boys into their bedrooms. Those same lil boys are then expected to be fathers once the child pops out, but boys will be boys.If females would put more value into themselves and stop dropping their panties to the first male, then the number of fatherless homes, in my opinion, would drop. If you actually look at the dead beat dads, most of them showed those characteristics even before the child came into the picture. If the man didn't care about you before the baby, then a new addition would not change his mindset.. So it is not solely the male's fault for the number of fatherless homes.. I feel the blame should be spread equally on the females and the males. But until females gain respect for themselves and create high standards the fatherless homes epidemic will continue to be on the rise..

Friday, April 3, 2009

My Two Cents...

OK.. Every once in a while, I ramble about things I either seen or read. Today is no different..

While bored at work, I catch up on my television shows that I am unable to watch at home because they come on at crazy freaking hours when I am ALWAYS busy... SHOUT OUT: To whoever thought of online TV. I owe you lots.. TRUST!!!.. lol Anyways.. Today I watched Making The Band 4..

I used to be a regular watcher way back in the day.. OK.. Well not way back but I started watching it during Season 3. My first episode was when that heavy girl with the pink shirt sung her butt out of Deborah Cox's 'Nobody Supposed to be Here'.. Dang girl had me in tears...lol

But I watched the show that came on last night a few minutes ago.. Needless to say, Q is getting on my freaking nerves... I don't know what is up with him, but that victim attitude is starting to get old. He is always blowing up on people and trust it is NOT a good look...

On yesterday's show, he got in a fight with Brian. Now I don't know who Q thinks he is but the image he portrayed got him looking like a lil 'b'.. It's time for him to really grow up.. I'm not sure what got into him but it must be that 'Poor Man's Disease'....

I really don't like seeing people like that because it makes them look ignorant.. The way he was carrying on is ridiculous.. He should really be ashamed of himself...

Now, I don't know if that was all a front to make good TV but for his sake.. I just hope he's a really good actor....

Thursday, April 2, 2009

the Poor Man's Disease - -

Times are hard..

People are losing their jobs. Families are splitting apart. Violence is at a max.

With this current recession, alot of people are developing the 'Poor Man's Disease'.. The Poor Man's Disease is nothing to clown about. It's symptoms include depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, feelings of loneliness, and anger....

I've been watching the news and it seems that everyday someone is becoming a victim of this disease. I say victim because it is indeed deadly. Numerous families have lost their lives as a result of lay-offs, rent increases, and economy downfall. Numerous individuals have lost their lives to the system as the result of criminal activity, negligence, or stupidity.

Things in this world are not as they once were. People are in constant fears of being laid off. People are in constant fears of starting lives as a couple out of fear for the future.

The key to overcoming this disease is God and communication. Philippines 4:13 says 'Through God ALL things are possible'. Proverbs 3:5 says 'Trust in the Lord with all thy heart, and lean not unto thy own understanding'.

Honestly, I think the world is like it is because society is breaking away from God.

[to be continued]

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Pregnant Men --

UGH!!!!

I must reiterate.. WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO???

I just read an article about ANOTHER MAN being pregnant.. --Don't forget about that first pregnant 'man' that gave birth some time ago and is pregnant again-- I'm not sure what the media's agenda is but they need serious help. Is the entertainment industry that slow lately?? They are talking about the pregnant men like it is normal....

OK.. There is this 'man' in Spain.. NO, wait.. Let me put it clear.. In NON-MEDIA terms... There is this confused female in Spain who was attracted to females.. I guess, wanting to fit in with the normal, she woke up one morning and decided 'Hey, I want to be a man now'.. So she trotted to the doctor's office, pleaded her sob story and began turning her female body into a man's body..

SIDENOTE: Now I don't actually know what takes place to turn a female into a male. But I looked it up and in Spain, no procedure or surgery is actually needed to be classified a man. So for all I know the broad could have just shaved her head and called it a day...

RETURN--

So she decided to turn male. Time passed and then it dawned on her.. 'Wait, men can't have children.' So she trotted back to the doctor to start her menstrual cycle back up.. She never legally changed her gender because only females can get artificially inseminated - go figure.. [At least ONE thing in this world is still right] Within months, viola.. Yep, you guessed it.. She's pregnant. So now the broad is pregnant and is running to the nearest judge to legally be classified as a man... So by the time she gives birth, she will be considered a man...

This story is SO SAD!!! I feel so bad for ALL the people involved including the unborn child..

And the way the media is advertising the pregnant man, it is ridiculous... First, the gays, now the pregnant transgenders.. Someone needs to pass a law that says a transgender can't produce a child.. The same way someone passed the law that said the gays can't get married.. [Now I could have worded that a lil differently to not sound so insulting, but however it came out, IT IS THE TRUTH!!!] I bet 200 years ago, the people never thought that such laws would even be needed..

I am a Christian and the things going on in the world are just ridiculous...

I believe the end of the world is near.. Now, it could be seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, or even decades away, but it is near.. And with the current status of the economy, all should take note.. I am just waiting until the gov't take over banks.. It's coming close with all of the loans and stocks failing..

With all of this pregnant man stuff circulating...
I pray for this world everyday..