16 and Pregnant

Yesterday, I was home alone so I started flipping through the TV channels. While flipping, I ran across a girl in a hospital bed. My first instinct was to keep flipping until I heard her say the word 'contractions'. Because I am 9 months pregnant, I was interested.

Come to find out, I had stopped on a show on MTV called '16 and Pregnant'.

Since I would be in the same position as that girl, I was watching and taking mental notes. The most interesting of the show was when the nurse came in to adminster the epiderual. I sat up, turned the TV volume up louder, and watched in awe as the lady got the needle ready. I have been told many stories about the epiderual so I wanted the facts. 'If you move, the needle might slip and you will become paralyzed', 'The needle is about a foot long', and many others.. Unfornately, that show didn't educate me at all. I started leaning over in the bed hoping that my will to see the girl's back would magically adjust the view of the camera man, but nothing.

They showed the girl bracing herself as the nurse did her thing, then they showed the nurse injecting 'something' into the already stuck needed, and then they showed the nurse walking away saying 'All done'. I was greatly disappointed. Now I will have to search for epideral videos cause I am the type of person who needs to know in advance. I need to see screaming so I can make my own judgement on the pain and I also need complete details so I can know what to expect.

But I am not here to talk about my lack of epideral knowledge. I am here to talk about '16 and Pregnant'. I am completely disgusted with that show. MTV have a show that shows 16 year old babies giving birth to babies. What is amazing is that there are so many 16 year olds who are pregnant. It is as if it is a new trend.

Before little girls used to grow up anticipating their 16th birthday for the sweetness it entials but now, thanks to MTV, they are gowing up anticipating thier labor. That show gives girls the impression that it is cool to be pregnant at 16.

R.I.P. Michael Jackson

Yesterday was my brother's birthday so my mom had a lil get-to-gether at the house for him. As usual, as soon as me and my husband walked in everyone was like 'hey' with big smiles but something was different. We walked through the living room and then around the corner to the kitchen where everyone was. As soon as we hit the kitchen, I heard my mom say Micheal Jackson died. My response was "Micheal Jackson, who?" She then asked "You don't know who Michael Jackson is?" I was in complete awe and shock. It was not that I didn't know who Michael was. It was that I didn't expect it. It all happened so suddenly.

Today at work, I started watching some of Mike's old videos. My all time favorite is "Remember the Time". I remember dancing in the mirror to that video regularly. I love that song. Even on a bad day all I had to hear was "Do you remember, *breathe*" and a smile suddenly hit my face.

I would not call myself a die-hard Mike fan, but I enjoy his music. He have so many hits. A few of my other favorites include 'Who's Loving You', 'You Are Not Alone', 'Scream', and the list goes on.

When I heard the news of his passing, my mind immediately went to his family and close friends. I can only imagine the pain that one feels after losing someone so dear.

Even though Michael has been dragged through the mud, he have a kind soul and will leave his legacy.

I was always pro-Michael. I felt that he was simply misunderstood. The media exploited his childish behavior and used it to destroy his career and good name. Michael Jackson didn't have a normal childhood. At the young age of 4, he started singing with his older brothers. All his life, he sung. He didn't have the chance to play or enjoy life like other little children. Instead he was in the studio making music. Because of his fame, he was also sheltered from other children his age. His father's discipline methods also didn't make childhood easy for Michael. Once he gained control of his life, he decided to do what he didn't have a chance to do... Be a child. He built Neverland Ranch and surrounded himself with things that children would do anything for. However, I did feel that maybe Michael could have talked to someone about his non-present childhood and then that person could have explained the lines between childhood and adulthood, but it is all in the past now.

Michael is in a better place. He is in a place where the media can no longer criticize him for living his life as he saw fit.

Yes, Michael could have been the poster child for plastic surgery, but he is not the first one to dwell in it and he won't be the last.

Everyone have a story and it is not the media's job to try to explain it or publicize it.

My prayers goes out to Michael's family and friends. He will truly be missed, but his music and legacy will live on in every one's heart forever..

Rest In Peace, Michael Jackson.

May God continue to be with you and your family.

God Bless!!

Married Life

It has been approximately 16 days, 22 hours, and 55 minutes since I said 'I do'.. Let me tell you, married life is rough..

Currently, me and my husband are going through some major financial problems. I guess it is good that we are going through this now because once we make it through this we could make it through anything. As of now, divorce is no where in the horizon. It is not even an option so we are fighting through these trying times. Yes, it does it tense in our home but we are surviving..

I just read an article about how Usher is filing for divorce from his wife. Then as soon as my eyes reached the end of that article, approximately ten articles about Jon and Kate entered my peripheral.

When I think of celebrity marriages a few words come to mind; mainly joke, crock, waste of time, shameful and belittling. When most celebrities get married, it is done for entertainment purposes.

Take Usher for example... His CD before last was entitled 'Confessions'. It talked about how he was in love with a woman, but recently found out that he impregnated another woman. Because of that, he could not be with the woman he loved but instead he had to be with the woman he married. At the time the CD came out, Usher was involved with Chili, from TLC. It later came out that him and his publicist [or whoever she was] was no involved and she was expecting a child. Coincidence?? I think NOT!!!! Now as it turns out, Usher and Tameka have been living separately for a year and Usher has filed for divorce. To me, Usher's love life is simply for publicity. The value of marriage has been belittled by entertainment..

During the vows it says 'Until death does us part'. It does not say 'until we lose interest in you'. It does not say 'until the next CD come out'. It does not say 'until something better come along'. It does not say 'until I get bored with you'. It says 'Until death does us part'.

Marriage is not something to play with. It should not be taken lightly.

And now Jon and Kate's mess is filling up the airwaves and news sources. Everywhere you turn their is a story about them. It is quite sickening. First, Jon had an affair. Then Kate had an affair. Now, Kate is not a good mother but instead consumed in the Hollywood limelight. Next, Jon is the victim cause he had his manhood taken from him from his overbearing wife.

I'm not sure if the media is an advocate for divorce but something is going on. Honestly, if one would look at marriage from a celebrity standpoint then marriage makes no sense. Marriage would be a waste of time.

I love my husband with all of my heart.. I guess in real-life it is different. Marriage takes on a whole other meaning than the one celebrities give. In real-life, it is not just something to do.

I know first hand marriage is hard. Soot, marriage is really really really hard... BUT I also know that marriage take fight from both parties and it should not be thought of simply to sell CDs.

Present-Day Society

OK. So I am still watching 'I'm A Celebrity: Get me out of here'.. I really need to stop though cause I feel my blood pressure rising with each passing celebrity.

As usual, Spencer and Heidi is still getting on my nerves. Spencer is like a 5 year old boy with WAY too much facial hair and Heidi is a dumb blond; literally. I really hope reality TV works out for her cause I honestly don't see any real career ahead of her. Well, nah, unless you count stripping, then.. BRING IN THE MONEY...lol

Enough about them.. I noticed something watching that show that is also evident in the present-day society; Citizens have no community values.

Ok.. Here is the story.. Spencer took Torrie's bag and played hide and go seek with it. [5 year old] The other cast members basically sat there and let him do it. Yeah you heard the 'I wouldn't do that, bro' but no one stood up and did anything. Since Torrie was no where around someone could have stood up for her. After all, I am sure that no one would want their bag hidden. When Torrie returned, she found out that John [don't know his last name, but the tall basketball dude] told the Fran of Frangela [from the Best Week Ever] that Spencer hid Torrie's bag. Why he didn't tell Torrie when she returned, I don't know.. Now I don't know if they helped Torrie look for her bag or not cause I paused it to write this blog, but I will soon find out..

Anyways.. Citizens, humans, people or whatever you want to call them have a habit of letting stuff be done. People would just stand around and watch a person do bad to an innocent victim instead of defending the non-present victim. I am not sure why but people are cowards. Why don't people place themselves in situations? I am sure that no one would want their bag hidden so why allow someone else bag to be hidden? Why sit back and let bad stuff be done to people? There was about 5 other people standing around that could have stopped Spencer, but no one moved. Instead they just all looked like 'Glad it wasn't me'.

That is the problem with society today. So many people just stand around and 'watch'. People sit back and watch children steal. People sit back and watch children kill. People sit back and watch children be tormented. People sit back and watch people get raped. And every one's number one response is 'It's none of my business'. I bet it would be your business if your stuff got stolen or if your close family member got killed or raped or if your child got tormented. People are quick to say it is not their business but then get mad when it is said about their situation.

If more people took a stand and defended victims and tried to persuade evil-doers to do good, this world might just be different. But the crime rates are steadily rising.

Maybe one day people will start looking out for other people but I guess for now as long as it is not you.. 'It is none of your business'...

What the freaking H$LL??

Okay.. So I'm at work. I woke up with these bad chest pains and I am having a lil trouble breathing so, of course, I am having trouble concentrating on work. All morning, I have just been staring at the computer screen watching different shows on hulu.com.

I watched 'The Fashion Show' first. I sort of like that show. I like the idea of buying the winner's design after each show. However, I wish you could buy any design cause on the show I watch Reco designed this cute high-waisted skirt with matching vest and red ruffle shirt. It is to die for. Yeah, you cn pretty much find a high-waisted skirt everywhere, but his was so adorable. Instead, Daniella's design won. It was a navy/black dress with some type of jacket; not my style..

Anywhoo.. Now I am watching this show called 'I'm a Celebrity: Get me out of here'. I never really heard of that show and, to my surprise, it have came on everyday this week so I was totally in the dark. It is starring z-list celebrities as they live in the jungle for 3 weeks while raising money for charity..

Side Note: I am a BIG nature freak so, of course, when they show first came on I started thinking about a vacation I could take in the jungle. I don't have a travel agent, but in the near future [well, not too near.. I have to push this baby out first] I will contact one about booking a trip to some jungle or forest or something. I always wanted to visit the Outback or a rain forest in South America.

Anywhoo. My reason for writing is Spencer and Heidi Pratt. Who the hell do they think they are? I am not an MTV watcher so I never seen an episode of 'The Hills' in my life. Quite frankly, watching a bunch of white people act a fool is not my choice of entertainment. But yeah, after half of day in the jungle those too 'wanna-be' celebrities started complaining and decided to quit. Spencer called some guy from NBC on the phone and started talking about how celebrities should be treated. He went on and on about how he is this big time celebrity and how he should be treated as such. He also said how he will not clean up after anyone cause he is this big-time celebrity. Then he went on to say how he is there with a bunch of nobodies and how he thought real celebrities was going to be there.

EARTH TO SPENCER: YOU ARE A NOBODY....

Him saying that sort of pissed me off. Here he is, some stuck up white boy with no clue and no fame who lucked up on being on a reality show. Him and his wife was always in the news cause of their marriage or something.. BIG DEAL. Those two need a reality check big time. They think that they are somebody cause they was on a reality show.

Now, given, I am usually not mean or disrespectful to reality stars or people who lucked up on fame but this dude was talking like he created the earth. He had the audacity to declare himself a 'real' celebrity and demanded the he be treated as such because of his self-proclaimed title.

I'm done ranting.. I just had to pour out my two cents about those fools..

From my knowledge, the show comes on every Monday through Thursday live on NBC. I don't know the exact time is comes on but I'm guessing sometime during prime time..

Deuces..

Love Fulfilled -- PART 1

Well, well, well... Where to begin?? Well to start.. I'M MARRIED!!! WHOA!!!!!

It took A LOT of soul searching and self-rebuilding to get to this point, but I made it.. I must admit the road was not a smooth one. I went through my share of men. I did some wrong, some did me wrong, and in some we both did wrong..

I have been cheated on in the past. I have been cheated on by men that I thought I loved. I have been cheated on by men that I thought loved me. I remembered my very first boyfriend. [I think] I was a senior in high school. [Yea, I was a lil shy back then and me approaching boys was not my main agenda so I sort of pushed that part on the back burner. Don't get me wrong, I used to talk to guys but it was nothing 'high school' serious and my main concern was my studies]

Anywho... Well actually my first boyfriend is a blur. I guess that is why my love life to follow was such a mess. My first boyfriend is a toss between 4 guys. [I know, bad] One I met at a parade and, at this moment, I don't remember his name. The other was a guy from my church. The other was a guy from school and the other was my cousin's cousin [through marriage].

Thinking hard, I think the guy from church was my first boyfriend [I was a junior in high school at the time] BUT I don't even think the word boyfriend or girlfriend was used. Maybe just a coincidence, but he cheated on me. That relationship was so jacked up. We was both shy so the relationship was basically forced by others from church and our convo while in the relationship was also forced. Some days we would see each other at church and not speak to each other, solely out of shyness. Anyways, my best friend came to me one day [or maybe called.. I don't remember. It was about 11 years ago] and told me that she seen my 'boyfriend' walking with a white chick and she was wearing his jacket and chain. At that time, wearing a mate's clothing was 'the thing'. So I was basically like whatever.. [Thinking about it, in all of my relationships I was like whatever] But I called him the next day and asked him about it. Of course he lied but I ended it anyways..

I also realized that I was not much for relationships anyways.. Probably throughout my whole dating career, I always had a back up plan. Or at least that is what I called it. Even when I had a boyfriend, when asked I said I didn't.

But anyways, while with the boy from church, me and my family went to the Zulu, Rex, and Truck parade. [They are parades that passes on Mardi Gras morning in New Orleans] I met a dude [the one who name I can't remember] and when asked I told him I didn't have a boyfriend. We talked on the phone for a while cause he lived like an hour away. Well, come to find out, the boy from the parade and the boy from my church were cousins. [Yeah they had the same last name, but Hayes is a common last name] Anyways, the boy from the parade confronted me, I lied and we parted. [Or at least I thought he did. The parade boy used to call me every year around the same time trying to spark a relationship again. It aggravated so much cause the last thing I want is a clinging male. So I changed my number] Thinking about it, the boy from church never mentioned it, I guess because he was so shy or because he was doing his own dirt. I don't remember if the parade boy used boyfriend/girlfriend or not either.

The next two boys came around the same time; the boy from school and my cousin's cousin. I seen my cousin's cousin at a parade about 2 years before then and the boy was FINE!!! He was the cutest thing I ever seen up to that point. Well since he was my cousin's cousin, I told her how I thought he was cute and she set up a meet for us. We met, he thought I was cute too, and we started talking. We communicated for a long time [in high school years] from April to January of the next year. That was during the end of my senior year cause in May I graduated. He said he loved me and I really felt that he did. [Or at least in a high school way anyways] I also had strong feelings for him too [Or so I thought] We broke up in January cause I was a freshman in college and he was a senior in high school [two TOTALLY different levels...lol]

I remember the day we broke up like yesterday. I was still off for winter break and my cousin [his cousin] was staying over until her school started back [she was also still in high school]. It was the first day that he returned back to school and around 9AM [I was still sleep] the house phone rung. My cousin answered cause it was closer to her and within seconds passed the phone to me. My then-boyfriend told me how he found out that I was talking to another boy while off for college. [The boy from college was from the same town as my then-boyfriend.. I sure knew how to pick them...lol] Come to find out, the boy from college lil cousin was telling everyone at school how me and the boy from college was talking and, of course, my then-boyfriend was amidst the convo. The relationship didn't officially end that morning, but it did that night. Right after we hung up the phone, I had to run to the bathroom to throw up. I remember thinking at the time how it was just like the movies. When something bad would happen the person would throw up cause the emotions messed up their stomach. So when I threw up I was thinking that it was either a scene out of the movies or the stale Chinese rice I ate the night before. Later that night after he got home from school, he called. We talked about everything and broke up. I felt so bad because he cried.. [and also because I cared for him] I know because his lil brother walked in the room while we was on the phone and started asking what was wrong and why he was crying. He pushed his lil brother out the room so fast. That was the first boy I ever made cry. [It's sad to say my first... but hey] Our relationship didn't end there. For the next 3 years, we tried a relationship again numerous times, but each time lasted no longer than a month or two. One time it only lasted for 3 days...lol Oh, this relationship fall out was not totally my fault.. Sometime in the summer, my best friend [AGAIN.. She is always telling me the dirt] told me how she heard that my then-boyfriend was trying to get back with his ex. I confronted him, he lied [well maybe.. I am still not sure to this day.] but we stayed together.

That boy from school [high school] came in May. We started talking the beginning of May, he took me to prom then right after we broke up. The way we broke up was so cruel. He was the sweetest boy but there was nothing there for me... He used to walk me to every class everyday. Well, while walking me to my last class for the day [since I was a senior my last class ended at noon] I gave him a note that I wrote the night before. I told him don't read it until he gets to class. The note basically said 'you are a nice person, but I don't like you and don't want to be with you either.' [I know.. harsh.. I was a lil b!tch back then]

It is no surprise every relationship thereafter was so horrible cause karma hit me like a baseball bat. But I can't blame anyone but myself. It is just a shame to start cheating straight out the bag. And I really didn't have a reason to cheat.. I did it 'just cause'...

TO BE CONTINUED...

Whoa..

I just came on here to write what was on my mind when I noticed that the last time I wrote was in April and it is now June.. I have really been neglecting my blog.

It is my dream to become a published author and I know it takes steps.. One of those steps is to gain readership. To do that, I MUST update my blog semi-daily and I must advertise, advertise... ADVERTISE...

I can't make any promises right now, but I will try to update this thing as frequently as possible.